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im giving up

the.end.ish

Misknown Member
#1
I'm giving up on my family. there was a time that I felt more well adjusted and like I could reach out to them and start to form relationships with them, but that time is over. i tried so hard to make it work. i put aside the fact they have never been there for me. That they've verbally abused me, torn me down, never supported me, even in dire situations when i was in the hospital. I'm fucking done. I'm done trying to be well adjusted. Why? why should i be? Why should I try? Why should I give a shit anymore? The world doesn't give a shit. My old philosophy went as follows: so what? someone needs to give a shit, so I will. I'll give all kinds of shits and all these shits given will be contagious and it will make the world a better place. And even if it doesn't infect one single person, you shouldn't not give a shit just because others don't.

Well. I'm tired of living my life by this philosophy because it fucking hurts. And also it seems to end in misery. my new philosophy is give less shits and let the pieces fall where they may. i don't expect to be happier this way. but i do expect to at least be miserable and shitless.
 
#3
Seems like a good strategy. If your family has been terrible to you, you don't owe them anything and you shouldn't feel obligated to maintain a relationship with them, especially if it is affecting you negatively. I hope you can find happiness.
 

MisterBGone

Well-Known Member
#4
I respect & admire your willingness to stay committed to them, for so long. . . (It sounds like a long time—that you’ve given them: by staying loyal!). But, as you say - at some point, you’ve got to do what right for you. By not being there for you and showing you support and love and everything else, now or in your darkest time of need, they basically told you what, or how they truly feel & what they think about the nature of your relationship with them (in terms of the quality...). How much they care in other words? It’s like a guy I always admired forever said, “it’s simple, you either care — or you don’t!” / kind of boils it down & makes most matters cut n’ dry; regardless of their level of importance. I’m sorry it has to be this way, and you never know, maybe one day (especially after this change by or from you) they will sing a different tune! But for now, there is no use in killing your self over making such gross efforts, only to be stonewalled—or shunned... you can only bang your head against the wall so many times before you give yourself a concussion! What you describe reminds me of a situation I once had at work, where, no matter what I did, I was unable to change, or alter the “power’s that be,” ‘s ... ways of working. And since it was so toxic, the more I tried to reverse this course the more resistance I was met with. They, being a family run business or company - were able to write their own rules, play by them, and disregard those that would be considered by almost any other independent party evaluating what they did (their “modus operandi!”); absurd in the best most flattering of lights..;) but I remember telling my self constantly, “just care a little bit less ~~~ & you’ll feel a billion times better— this may have had a chance of working, but for my concern for the patients we were in charge or, who - outside of staff - were the most directly affected by such skewed methods of practice (that is, to do what’s best for us — the owners / & their friends n’ family. . .) good luck! 🍀
 

JDot

J to the Dizzle O to the Tizzle
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#5
It sounds like you've had it with your family's bullshit. You don't have to put up with it. If burning bridges brings you peace please do so. And I hope you find people irl who give a shit about you, and you can give a shit about them.
 
#6
Good for you. My 'policy' has kind of changed throughout the years as well. I've learned to identify individuals who don't care, and while I still care about those who I deem good, I don't go out of my way or associate with shit people anymore, and that includes family. Yes it hurts, but good riddance it's in the rear view mirror
 

the.end.ish

Misknown Member
#7
Can I just say I'm very vindicated in my decision to give less shits and therefore receive less shit because of your feedback. You all have been lovely.

I rid myself of the responsibility to deal with my sisters responsibilities today. I left it for her to deal with. It. Felt. Great.

And now that I've confronted giving less shits I think I can graduate to giving no fucks about what people think of me. But god, that's scary territory. Maybe I'm not there yet.
 

MisterBGone

Well-Known Member
#8
Sounds like this was something, or one-of-those-things, where—(“it was a long time coming!”). . . And in such matters, at least as happens to be the situation here - this usually means you are more: oh so much more than greatly justified, in said response &/or reaction!! ;D I truly believe that someone was taking tremendous advantage of you, abusing your trust & your good will (is that two words? Never saw the “hunting movie!” I’m sure it’s brilliant—) & nature; this- or the very nature of what makes you a good & decent human being. It’s like you were in the wild and were preyed on by being weak (or giving off the ‘perception,’ of.. but! You know what they say about, ‘perception!’). Anyway, I’m so glad you’re having this reckoning of sorts, and maybe now you can begin to have a reawakening of sorts, form the shackles that have been for so long holding you back in life, and thereby sucking on, or draining you of your soul— Am I coming off too strong 💪 I hope not... sometimes, I can be a little too overly passionate about things: matters and such; that piss me off. ;) sorry - if it’s too much, cause I can always handle it - that is to say, “me!” :D _but I know not every body else can. . . ; ) And yeah, maybe it’s more of a gradual process — (this “graduation,” you speak of?); as opposed to a more “one-step,” or concerted mechanism. But regardless of and not matter what, in terms of “how,” you get there . . . All that matters, is that You Do- eventually get there! Capisce? ;) glad & proud of / as well as, for - you... :)
 

MisterBGone

Well-Known Member
#9
How’s it going to-day, @the.end.ish ? : )
And if that’s too complicated a question to answer—I hope that things begin to smooth, or even out for you, soon (as in, like, starting “to-morrow!”). . : )
 

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