I'm Giving Up.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Vacuity, Jan 25, 2009.

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  1. Vacuity

    Vacuity Member

    I can't take this anymore.
    I so sick of trying all the time.
    Trying to be positive.
    Trying not to SH.
    Trying not to OD.
    Trying not to kill myself.
    Trying to pretend.
    Trying to socialise.
    Trying to try.

    It's too much.
    I'm completely exhausted and quite frankly, can't be arsed with this anymore.
    I can't think of any reason to stay alive.

    I guess i'm posting here in the vain hope that someone can help?

    I mean seriously.
    I cannot understand that there are people out there that don't want to kill themselves.
    How can they WANT to stay alive.
    How can they want to endure the monotony that is life?
    I don't understand.
  2. porcelain child

    porcelain child Well-Known Member

    Some people who want to live, have great lives and have happy days but then there are some people who have more down days then high days...

    I am sorry things are so tough...

    Have you got any professional help around you?

    Hunni if you are thinking seriously about OD'ng then please consider going to A+E...

    I am here if you wanna talk...

  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Vacuity,
    Welcome to the forum!! We all pretty much are in the same boat you are. I know alot are thinking suicidal thoughts on a dailey basis. I deal with them all the time but have found if I address them when I first wake up and let them know they aren't going to have me today they back off into the back of my mind.
    I have had three SA. Obviously I failed at them. Taking your life goes against the grain of everything you were taught from childhood. I know ppl do succeed but you don't have to. Give the forum a chance to try and support you thru these hard times.
    You will find quite a few of us are willing to help if we can. You can PM any of us if you want to talk one on one. Are you seeking any professional help? are you on meds? If not you should at least talk with your doctor. He will probably refer you to a shrink. There is nothing to be ashamed about for seeing one. There are millions of ppl who seek help professionally be it a shrink, phsycologist, therapist or what have you. My self I have found that my therapist helps the most but I still see a shrink to get my meds prescribed. Think it over!! Take Care!~Joseph~
  4. Vacuity

    Vacuity Member

    Thank you so much for the replies!

    I'm not getting help just now. I used to be in therapy, but they decided it was only for anxiety, and told me I was better. Plus, I had to leave when I turned 18 anyway. I went to my GP a while ago. She didn't really believe I was depressed, even when I did a stupid little questionnaire thing for her. She gave me a leaflet on some group counselling stuff. But she didn't really want to help.

    I guess there just isn't help for me. Noone thinks i'm bad enough for help. Yet i'm struggling to make it through each day.

    I just can't take it anymore. I'm so sick of everything. I guess when i'm dead people will say, "Huh. Maybe she was depressed then."

  5. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    HI there please dont give up.I do understand where your coming from ive felt the same,talk here theres alot of people who can help you get through this difficult time,were here to listen.take care.
  6. Vacuity

    Vacuity Member

    People want to help me? :unsure:

    I just don't know what to doooo. I'm struggling so much. Does anyone know what my options are? Suicide is the easiest one. And my GP says she can't refer me to anyone, 'cause i'm 18. Does this mean I can't do anything? Why is she just leaving me to kill myself? :sad:
  7. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    People here will want to help.Go back to your doctor and try again,being 18 is not a excuse not to help,if you dont get any help see another doctor,make them listen,you could also go to ae and ask to see the duty psychiatrist.Keep talking here tell us what your struggling with.
  8. Pécheur

    Pécheur Account Closed

    Hi there, I can relate to your situation, it's hard to deal with I know, but if I've made it this far you can hold on with me too.

    I know right now everything feels like a big ball of mess but talking about it can make things seem clearer and easier to deal with.

    I'm willing to listen if you want to talk more about it.

    I hope the best for you, take care honey.
  9. Vacuity

    Vacuity Member

    I'm sorry for posting so much.
    But I just cannot stand this anymore!

    I miss having my old therapist to talk to. I never told her I thought about suicide, but I told her some stuff at least. I have absolutely noone I can talk to about how I feel.

    It's like everything's just piling up on top of me. I don't have the motivation to do anything now. Nothing to distract me. I just want to die. Surely people would understand that? It wouldn't be so bad just to go through with my plans?
  10. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Hm I suppose it's not that people want to die but it's they don't want to live anymore. In all honesty I don't want to die but I dont want to live....... there's no in between.

    Do what makes you happy.
    But don't do anything you'd regret.
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Vacuity,
    Take a few days and write down your thoughts your having including the suicidal ones. Once you think you have covered everything then go to your A&E or ER what ever you have there. Tell them you are suicidal and are ready to commit. They will send in someone from mental health to talk to you. Tell them you are ready to commit and you have a plan. They should admit you. Tell the shrink when you see him/her that you just can't go on anymore and you can't find any help or support.
    They should be able to stabalize you, and come up with someone for you to see once you get out of the hospital. I'm afarid that is the best advice I can give you. Maybe another member can add to it. Take Care!!~Joseph~
  12. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi....i am glad you reached out. . .that is very positive. there are a lot of people here who DO care about you.

    do you have a family member, or close family friend, that might be able to help you push to get your mental health needs met, medically? depression makes it hard to find the energy to do those kinds of things...

    keep posting, keep reaching out. you can pm me anytime, if you want to talk. write as much or as little as you want. and never mind about '''being sorry'' for posting so much - it's the right thing to do - if that is what you feel. it may help you - and you might find an option in someone's reply - there are so many people here w/varied experience -

    be good to yourself. remember that - you are valued and important. so be as kind to yourself, as you likely are to others.....don't put yourSELF last on the list! :hug:
  13. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i second joseph's suggestion about going to emergency. write down what you want to say beforehand. tell them how serious it is, and how awful you feel. they can help set you up with some supports, might be medication, a community mental health nurse, a doctor, whatever. just skip your doctor (until you find a new one) and be as honest as you can about how you feel. i have been to the ER twice to deal with feeling suicidal. once there i was admitted to short stay until for a few days until i stabilized and the worst of the crisis is over. not a long term solution (for that i need therapy) but at least a solution to keep you alive. let us know what you decide? catherine
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