Hi, everyone. I'm 33, female, and live in Washington, DC. I've suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. My first (and only) suicide attempt was when I was 18. I absolutely hate my job. I've been working there for about 4 years. I work from home and the nice thing about that is that it's allowed me to move around in an attempt to figure out where I really want to live. However, the bad thing is that I'm totally isolated. I moved to DC about a year ago and my main goal was to find an office job but every time I think about job hunting I feel utterly terrified and hopeless. In general, I've been feeling very anxious, sad, overwhelmed, and out of control. And scared. My brain is scary. I used to be able to distract myself by going to concerts, reading, going out for coffee, etc., but now I don't want to leave my house or deal with people. Totally shutting down is new to me and it's worrisome. I feel like I can't talk to my friends or family about how terrible and hopeless I'm feeling.