I think I'm actually kind of a bitch and an asshole. I probably don't deserve to live or be successful. One of the earliest memories I have is when I was maybe 5 years old or so. I was taking a bath with my older brother. I bit his toe, which I think may have created some kind of hostility my brother fostered towards me, which may seem petty and ridiculous. I think he was eleven. Ever since then we would fight almost constantly. Except when we were having fun together playing video games or watching cartoons. My little brother was born and my brother used to take care of him a lot. He pretty much taught him to treat me like shit. There was one time when my little brother was pretty little and he slapped me across the face. When my older brother was sixteen, he went to jail for attempted rape. My father pointed out at a therapy session that this may have created depression in me. I wasn't even aware that this may have been the cause for it. I just thought it was girl problems. Ironically, and pathetically, I started treating my little brother as my older brother treated me. I got really upset once and told him I hated him. I would get really angry at him at times and just outright mock him as well. To be honest, I was a bitch to him. We're both older now and I'm really sorry for all of that. He's still slightly emotionally distant towards me and it's obvious that he prefers our other older brother.