Well..as a child growing up, I had a good life. my parents were so much fun and my best friends. my older brother was always the most rotten and foul person to ever exist and abused me for many years due to his bipolar disorder, so besides that, things were great, I was always husky and overweight, not many friend I had. just a loner but always happy and fun. I was never in a bad mood or upset ever, my father and I were the closest and he was my most best friend. we did everything together, hung out, went traveling, he was my only friend, later on in my life I met a girl that destroyed me and cheated on me, I was so sick over it I lost all the weight and got into health mode and stayed there while in a severe depression. my father a few years later was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and a few weeks ago had gotten a brain related stroke, now he resides at a nursing facility and barely says anything, barely knows who I am anymore... my job closed it's doors last week and now I'm out of work. I have no money and haven't eaten in 6 days. my whole life went down the drain, my dad is basically a vegetable, my mom lives in her own world, my older bro is in Prison so I have nobody... nobody likes me and I help everyone! I would give the shirt of my back if someone needed or just wanted it. no relationship, girls hate me and the sight of me. no friends..nothing so I've finally faced the facts that the empty pages of my life shall remain empty never be finished, it's over for me so I'm going to <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> and put a permanent end to my suffering. I don't know if I will I get into Heaven still if i've been a good person my whole life? or am I going down into the darkness? I don't know.. i'm just going to do it and not give a care just like nobody gives a care about me..