Good luck monty and Daze. Although my ramblings may sometimes seem cruel or strange I really only want to inspire others and hopefully myself as well.
I know how you feel Daze. I often find myself longing for the past, thinking that the future could not possibly hold anything better than what I've already had and destroyed. I'm blessed/cursed with a very vivid memory and a conscience which plagues me and punishes me endlessly for the wrongs I've committed. For some reason my mind seems to hang on to the things that cause me the most pain, the things I wish I could forget more than anything.
But at some point the grief over the past must be let go. I know it's easier said than done. But it doesn't do me any good to keep wallowing in my misery. Yes, I did fuck up. Yes, bad things happened. But what did I learn from it? What should I not do again? What good does it really do to continue feeling bad about it?
You don't have to (and very well may not be able to) forget but you CAN forgive yourself and forgive others. It is really the only way to let things go that you no longer wish to carry.
Nowadays I'm trying to pull the lessons out of my life's misfortunes. Hoping I can leave the pain behind and keep the wisdom instead.
I know how you feel Daze. I often find myself longing for the past, thinking that the future could not possibly hold anything better than what I've already had and destroyed. I'm blessed/cursed with a very vivid memory and a conscience which plagues me and punishes me endlessly for the wrongs I've committed. For some reason my mind seems to hang on to the things that cause me the most pain, the things I wish I could forget more than anything.
But at some point the grief over the past must be let go. I know it's easier said than done. But it doesn't do me any good to keep wallowing in my misery. Yes, I did fuck up. Yes, bad things happened. But what did I learn from it? What should I not do again? What good does it really do to continue feeling bad about it?
You don't have to (and very well may not be able to) forget but you CAN forgive yourself and forgive others. It is really the only way to let things go that you no longer wish to carry.
Nowadays I'm trying to pull the lessons out of my life's misfortunes. Hoping I can leave the pain behind and keep the wisdom instead.