I'm going to kill myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LeaveMeAlone, Nov 7, 2006.

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  1. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    I'm not saying i'm going to do it now, neccesserily, but i'm now pretty sure there is no umming and arring left to do. I have 70mg of diazepam left, thats enough to keep me asleep for about 2 more days, then thats it, the doctor has already told me she won't give me anymore, and as soon as i'm lucid I can't stop thinking about it. I just about have it planned out now, at least I've got it down to 2 variations on the same basic method, I'm not sure which will work better, still got to try and figure that out.

    I'm not really sure why i'm posting this here, writing just seems to help me get my thoughts in order, and i guess it would be nice to have some sort of record, of what the fuck was going on with me before i did it, i dunn maybe it will help someone else one day.


    oh to save you all the effort of generic responses I'll include a few below...



    oh noes what if you fail, you might do yourself serious damage


    what about the people who love and care about you, you'll really hurt them if you kill yourself...no one cares... i care and lots of people here do


    i know it seems bad now but things will get better i promise, i pulled through so can you


    you don't have it as bad as people in the middle east stop bitching


    i know not many people understand the pain you are going through but sometimes just talking about it helps


    have you tried talk to xxxxxxxx about it


    are you on any medication?


    have you tried talking to a different doctor?


    <generic bible quote> i'm an athiest </generic bible quote>


    why don't you just give it one more day


    have you called generic helpline number


    (via PM) you obviously have a lot going on right now and you seem very angry and upset, i can relate if you want to talk here is my msn address...





    have i forgotten any? seriously you could just sticky the damn things.
     
  2. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    oh i forgot... you're clearly a very clever, funny and insightful guy, the world needs people like you blah blah blah.
     
  3. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    oh and of course there is.... you obviously posted here because there is still some part of you that wants to live, to keep fighting, that part of you is reaching out for help... blah blah blah
     
  4. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    I genuinely hope that you reconsider the decision to end your life.. as for the rest, all I can say is that we are all human and dealing with our own issues. We are not professional counsellors. We do the best we can to help people in crisis and if you do not like the words of support people offer, then i'm sorry, but we are doing our best. Take care
     
  5. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    and just because it will probably at least make a couple of people laugh here are a few responses I'd love to see....

    have you tried getting shit faced?


    why not go to a bar and pick a fight with someone at random?


    heroin always works great for me when I'm feeling down.


    don't kill yourself, just kill everyone that you hate and then run away to mexico.


    if you want to throw yourself off a building I've heard the LSD can really help with that.


    why don't you join al queda, they're always looking for people like you?


    and...

    how nurotic are you, you've just replied to yourself 3 times in 5 mins.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 7, 2006
  6. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    im sorry you are feeling this way. i know probably no one can understand your pain and although i hope you change your mind im not going to talk you out of it but if you just want someone to talk to about anything at all..just to be a friend until..then, im here. its not good to be lonely.
     
  7. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    sorry jenny i'm not trying to get at you guys, I know you all try to help, and that's all you can do, it's also more than pretty much anyone else does, unfortunatly there seems to be a big gap between trying and suceeding, maybe that's just my experience tho, i know other people here have been helped, and you guys have helped me through shit before, but this is... well my councillor would ask me how i was feeling on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best i've ever felt and 1 being the worst.

    when i was ready to kill myself before i was 1, when i was on the meds but felt down, i was about a 3 and when i felt good i was maybe a 6, now for the last few days i've been swinging between 2 and -4 i really just can't cope anymore.
     
  8. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    :sad: offer still stands..pm if you want. and dont hold back, i can and will take a lot of shit. just dont want anyone to go through this alone.
     
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