I'm not saying i'm going to do it now, neccesserily, but i'm now pretty sure there is no umming and arring left to do. I have 70mg of diazepam left, thats enough to keep me asleep for about 2 more days, then thats it, the doctor has already told me she won't give me anymore, and as soon as i'm lucid I can't stop thinking about it. I just about have it planned out now, at least I've got it down to 2 variations on the same basic method, I'm not sure which will work better, still got to try and figure that out. I'm not really sure why i'm posting this here, writing just seems to help me get my thoughts in order, and i guess it would be nice to have some sort of record, of what the fuck was going on with me before i did it, i dunn maybe it will help someone else one day. oh to save you all the effort of generic responses I'll include a few below... oh noes what if you fail, you might do yourself serious damage what about the people who love and care about you, you'll really hurt them if you kill yourself...no one cares... i care and lots of people here do i know it seems bad now but things will get better i promise, i pulled through so can you you don't have it as bad as people in the middle east stop bitching i know not many people understand the pain you are going through but sometimes just talking about it helps have you tried talk to xxxxxxxx about it are you on any medication? have you tried talking to a different doctor? <generic bible quote> i'm an athiest </generic bible quote> why don't you just give it one more day have you called generic helpline number (via PM) you obviously have a lot going on right now and you seem very angry and upset, i can relate if you want to talk here is my msn address... have i forgotten any? seriously you could just sticky the damn things.