I'm going to leave my family, my baby. I don't care.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by moogkitz, Feb 6, 2015.

  1. moogkitz

    moogkitz Well-Known Member

    I guess I'm posting this because i just need to tell somebody. This is all I can think about right now.

    My son was born April of last year. He was not planned, or wanted (by me, sorry to use those words but they are true. He was an oops baby and I wanted to give him up for adoption. I didn't want kids and was not prepared to have one, I was only 19 at the time. But my mom and my bf (at the time) would not let me. Well, they manipulated me into keeping him. My mom said she would move away and be very depressed if i gave my son away. My bf kept saying he wanted to be a father. I didn't know what to do. my son was born and I have been raising him. This past month has been extremely rough on me for some reason. I feel like my life is over, I constantly worry about money and stupid financial stuff, i always have to cart my baby back and forth to daycare, i leave him at daycare all day because I don't want to deal with him. I like being alone and doing what I want. i hate being a mom. and now I'm single so it sucks even more. I never wanted this. I have decided that i am going to leave my son with his father and move far far away and start my life, my REAL life, without any family to tie me down. that is all they have done my whole life is tie me down, belittle and degrade me, never support or praise me, laugh at me treat me like i'm a weirdo. I do not care about them. my best friend is moving to Arizona this summer and i am going with her. i am 20 years old, that is something a 20 year old should be doing, not being a mom to a kid they never wanted. I am too selfish and self-absorbed to be a mom. I am miserable. I will be doing my son a favor. maybe in the future he will forgive me but I can't hope for that. I have made up my mind now i'm just playing the waiting game. I would leave tomorrow if i could but i have a plan that needs to pan out first.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Then why not sign your rights over to his father or your mother if you do not wish to keep your child You have a responsiblity to your son and i understand you feel overwhelmed talk his father your mother and make arrangements to have your son cared for by people who love him and will make sacrifices for him because that is what a loving parent does.
     
  3. spiritxfade

    spiritxfade Well-Known Member

    I hope you can work out an alternative arrangement for your baby. I'm sure it must be overwhelming and exhausting to try and raise a child you never wanted, and I'm sorry you received so much pressure to keep him. I hope you can find a way to start anew.
     
  4. smwhorses

    smwhorses Well-Known Member

    :hug: I am so sorry you were talked into keeping your son then not offered the help and support you need. There is nothing wrong with realizing you are not able to handle raising your son alone. I am typing with my 2 year old grandson bouncing next to me. He is staying with me because my daughter decided to keep him after she let him be adopted. I told her I would help and I am.

    So, either talk to your Mom about her really helping out or contact an adoption agency about an open adoption. Even with closed adoption you will be able to decide on what couple is going to raise your son.
    There is nothing wrong with you moving and starting a new life. Just take a little time to give your son a good life also. It depends on the state you live in on if the biological father needs to be contacted or not. The adoption agency will do all that for you.

    You and your future are important. Your son will do great with a loving couple to raise him. Find him a great home and then take care of yourself!
     
  5. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If you feel like you do then you are not wrong and do not let people guilt you into pretending to feel something your do not. I would seriously recommend making a decision though on how you want to do it- either by signing custody to father and understand you will still be responsible for child support or to the state to surrender all rights in which case you may be able to get out of the child support (which will only work if the father does not want. If you sign the child to a relative then they or the state can still ask for child support in most areas- if looking for a clean slate consult with aan attorney (even pro-bono attorney through a women's rights organization) to make sure the end result is what you intend.
     
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    You're allowed to feel this way. No one is going to be judgemental. Some people simply is not cut out to be a parent, some people just need more time to mature and be ready.

    So many terrible and lousy parents out there and youre not one of them because youre simply being honest with yourself. Wish you the best luck and do what you feel and know is the best for your son.
     
  7. No one is blaming you for how you feel but whatever you do, make sure its in your sons interests too ok?