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I'm going to set myself on fire...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ScorchedInBlack, Jul 31, 2007.

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  1. ScorchedInBlack

    ScorchedInBlack Active Member

    I thought for weeks and months of
    agony trying to find a way to end
    it all
    now I have decided I'm going to do the
    one thing I said that I would never try to do
    I'm going to set myself on fire.

    I know that it is going to hurt
    but in the end the pain is what I deserve

    I always mess-up
    I am the one true failure
    I can't even make through one day
    without slitting my wrists in self hatred

    It's about time to do something
    about this this stigma this problem
    that I have

    No one could fix it
    all the places the sent me too
    all the times they locked me away
    did me no good
    and I tried so damn hard to get better.

    My parents won't do anything about
    this, no counsling no nothing
    because for some reason I
    supposedley can't tell truth from
    fiction.is that really it or are you in denial, mom?

    I have to add this at the end just in case
    she ever reads this...

    <mod edit: bunny - please do not post suicide notes>
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 31, 2007
  2. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    This is not the way!!!!!!!!!!!!! or the answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Please come on line and talk to people here at SF let them try to help!!!

    My friend recently was taken from us Feb13 2007 she died accidentially in a fire. She had to have a closed coffin no chance to say a final goodby only the memories in oiur head is that what you want for those that love you??

    I understand the pain and the torment you must be going through and i know its so tough right now but please stay a little longer hun and let us at least try to help where others may not of been able to:please::hug:
  3. Jess

    Jess Guest


    Dawn is right, this is not the way for you. I hope you stay around and talk to people here.. I'm certainly here to listen if you want. PM me or something. I hope you stay safe.. You're a good person and I'd hate to see anything happen to you.

    Please stay safe :hug:
  4. letdown

    letdown Guest

    How old are you? Has your mother hurt you in the past?

    What kind of counselling did you have before? Some counsellors are really awful but there are ones that will listen to you. You don't sound like someone who has been listened to carefully- you sound very very trapped.

    There are people out there that will listen to you. Think carefully before doing anything, you won't be under your parents' care forever.
  5. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    If you do this and live you will go through more pain than you ever thought possible and be horribly disfigured.
  6. ScorchedInBlack

    ScorchedInBlack Active Member

    I'm 16 and my parents are both abusive
    in almost every aspect you could ever think of
    and the have been for over six years.

    I have went to several different counslers around my area and they all treated me like I had a disease because of my cutting..no of them would talk about what I need to talk about because it made them uncomfortable.

    I have also been hospitalized at the Valle Vista Mental Health Facility,
    that didn't help.

    I found someone that would listen to me,
    she is the guidance counsler at the
    school I went to last year
    she worked at a counseling place
    before she started to work at the school.
    She is the only one to ever listen to me
    she took me to all of my appointments..
    Now thanks to my mom I will
    never see her again,
    she was the one that the suicide note was
    too..it got edited out.
    she's the only one that cared
    all the progress that she made with me has
    faded thanks to my parents
    who refuse to put me in counsling
    even though it is mandated by cps.
  7. ScorchedInBlack

    ScorchedInBlack Active Member

    I'm already ugly and i'm not planning on living..I will make sure I die this time.
  8. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    You need to protect yourself. If your parents will not send you to therapy then call CPS on them and FORCE them to do it.
  9. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Right so beacsue you think you're ugly, you're going to kill your self by fire?
    Do you have any idea how painful excruciating that would be? And you say you want pain because you deserve it. This is crazy
    My god I hope you aren't serious!:blink:
  10. letdown

    letdown Guest

    Hi ScorchedIn Black.:hiya: I know what it's like to have abusive parents and that feeling of being trapped and no one listening. I also know what it's like to have people recoil from you and treat you like dirt.

    Like you said, you've found a counsellor that has helped and who is different from all the others. :smile: It is a wonderful feeling to be actually listened to isn't it?

    It's fully understandable you feel the way you do after you know what helps you and you cannot reach this person that helps you so much. But there are ways you can reach your counsellor.

    What does CPS mean? Think about this a little bit more. There are child protection agencies and social workers you could get in touch with and let them know how your mother is putting up an obstacle (and neglecting) your health. Because this is what she's doing- she is being detrimental to your mental health.

    Keep talking here and maybe you could make a list of who you could contact to help you out of this situation. If you're at school or college, maybe you could let a teacher know and they may look into contacting the relevant people.

    I really can hear how desperate, awful and serious you're feeling about killing yourself. :hug: There are options available to you. I'm here if you want to PM anytime.
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2007
  11. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member

    Oh no it sounds like you are feeling extremely bad now! Don't even think about it no more! It is the most excruciating way to die and if you survive you are gonna suffer forever! Its not worth it. Please talk to someone and don't go on thinking about it. Please PM someone, you can PM me if you want to. :hug:
  12. letdown

    letdown Guest

    Setting oneself on fire isn't unheard of or uncommon with people who are suicidal/trapped.
  13. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    we all have the freedon of choice i think though people are more concerned about offering you some support to try and make it just a little better before taking such drastic actions
    pm or talk to us here when u feel able please tc:sad:
  14. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I agree that there are places you can turn to in order to remove yourself from the situation you find yourself in. Instead of searching for the way to die, start searching for the way to live. You can help yourself and lead a much better life. One away from the abuse of your parents. Without that factor, maybe you will be able to find some peace and happiness. Don't give up :hug:
  15. letdown

    letdown Guest

    I'm here if you want to talk ScorchedInBlack.. some people can be unhelpful but there are helpful people too. You have a lot going on at the moment. :hug:
  16. blade

    blade Well-Known Member

    hun yes i agree with ppl here 'there r places u can turn to' .. there r ppl here hun im here. i know what ur going through about having paernts like that .... same here.

    im always here
  17. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    Like other people have said, there are agencies that will make your parents send you to therapy.

    Try to stay away from anything that triggers, and just get yourself out of the situation you're in.

    I'm here to talk if you need an ear. :hug:
  18. DecievedElement

    DecievedElement New Member

    Hi, scorched in black.

    I as well now how hurtful it can be dealing with abusive parents. Please do not do this..nothing you have done is so horrible.

    I care for you and I am here if you ever need to talk! :smile:
  19. RCC

    RCC Well-Known Member

    Hey man, my advice to you is; if you're around calumniating or abusive people, give up on them, not yourself, live for you, not for them.
    You're not the problem, they are. Become an individualist.It's what saved me...
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