I'm going to stop trying.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mortal Moon, Jan 18, 2010.

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  1. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    I'm about ready to just lie down and stop doing things altogether. I won't eat, talk, or even move unless I need to. I will spend the remainder of my life sleeping. Say whatever you like about purpose and fulfillment, but that sounds like a damn good deal to me.

    What else do I have? There's no other option. I have no future. I'm dying, and there's nothing left for me but to lie down and accept it.

    Of course, there will be interference. I'll probably be dragged off to some psychiatric prison somewhere and have food and drugs forced down my throat. But I hardly care anymore. Let them waste their time keeping this soulless husk alive. It won't do anyone any good. The world wants me to suffer; ultimately, I have to learn to deal with that cruel fact.
  2. privatename

    privatename Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. I want to do the same thing.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hope you'll at least keep talking here...? :hug:
  4. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    Exactly. It's not going to really get anywhere. As much as I feel like doing this all the time, I really can't, someone's eventually gonna try to help you.

    Not trying's a great way to fail, though. =/
  5. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Eh, whatever. It's better than going with some violent and quasi-legal method; that's not how I want to die. If someone wants to keep me alive, it's going to cost them a shitload of time and money, and they will get no gratitude in return. So, we'll see. We'll see how much these people who "want me to stay alive" really mean it.
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    aww :hug: I can relate to what your saying...I'm always wishing to stay asleep forever...in a way I am slowly dying...because all I do is sleep, take care of my piggies, watch tv, go on the computer...sometimes write and then go back to sleep..I dont always eat...so much I lost 10 pounds because I spent all christmas and new years sleeping...I'd stay one hour awake then go sleep for 3 hours then up for anothe hour back to sleep...

    its not really a life...but I dont have the energy or the will to do anything..no one is there in my life to make me care...

    I wish I could say something that would help you, and give you courage and strenght to hold on...but...I'm just in the same dark place as you...
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you know that we care try eating okay gives you the energy to get out
    exercise get fresh air this helps too. I am sorry you are both in such a dark place it is not a place i hope i ever go to deep in again. It is so hard to crawl out of it but you will in time. Keep posting the pain away okay you are being heard and what you say does matter
  8. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I do that. I lay down with no intention of getting back up or eating or whatever. For whatever reason I'm still here.

    Right now Mom has a place to live because I'm alive and a couple of ladies at church have me to pick them up for the knit and crochet group. God is still having me do work for him so it's not time for me to go yet.

    But it does help to lay down at times with no intention of getting back up. In doing so, maybe I'm letting something go that is hurtful to me.

  9. sosotired

    sosotired Well-Known Member

    I Feel that way about myself too. :sad:
  10. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I can relate to this as well but I hope you do hang in there.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    sounds like a pretty slow and painful retreat.
    if things are that bad, why are you putting yourself through more pain ?
  12. bringer of light

    bringer of light Well-Known Member

    I hope you can benefit from my wisdom rather than my compassion. I feel like staying in bed every time I wake up, infact I mostly do.

    Then anger kicks in. Why should I be trying to die when I am probably one of the best looking and intelligent men in the UK in my early twenties. Don't take my word for it. I am probably looked upon as a tramp these days, but don't really care.

    The problem is its self defeating. Try to make sleep a reward rather than a punishment, but treat it like a drug.
  13. Solid12

    Solid12 Member

    That was poetic
    Existence well what does it matter,
    I exist on the best terms I can,
    This past is now part of my future,
    The present is well out of hand.
  14. bringer of light

    bringer of light Well-Known Member

    I don't think any of that was poetic, just wise. I try to be like Socrates but mostly its a fail from hazel.
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