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I'm having really disturbing thoughts =(

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I'm new here and I came across this site desperate to find some help/support or someone who would at least understand what I am going through. I feel terrible can't stop thinking about death and I don't want to go into it but basically for me life is not worth it I feel like a terrible person who deserves to die :blub:
it's hard to explain all the time my body feels achy and i'm really tired just have these thoughts in my head saying to F off and die and stuff like that sometimes it get so bad that I just lay down staring at the ceiling crying.


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
Right! down to see your doc.
Get a check up for the physical ailments and tell him/her about the depression.
Might be that a course of anti-depressants will ease the worst of it and if not, perhaps a course of therapy to get to the bottom of it.
But do have a physical check up, it might be something physical that is bringing you down so much.
it's hard to have that conversation but so worth it

i did it about three years ago

went to a doctor (one i didn't know, i had just moved) and told him that i was having thoughts of suicide and i didn't know what to do. i just looked at the carpet and kind of blurted it out. he asked for how long, etc. etc. a few other questions and then referred me to the local mental health services. they did a thyroid test to rule that out (sometimes mimics depression).

most doctor's visits are actually for mental health reasons so they will do their best to put you at ease. nothing to be ashamed about.

good luck, and be brave!


Well-Known Member
Welcome to sf, Rose.

You're certainly not alone in suffering from thoughts like those that you have described. It's good that you've opened up about them here, but this place does not substitute for a professional. I recommend seeing your doctor to first determine if there is a general medical condition causing some of your symptoms, and also to tell him or her exactly what it is you're experiencing. Don't worry about thinking they won't understand. They've likely heard what you have to say many times in various forms.

Consider seeking out an empathic and caring therapist to help you with your intrusive thoughts of worthlessness, and of death and wanting to die. It can get tricky finding someone who is really helpful, but there are some out there that can help you cope with those thoughts, in the ultimate hope that they will go away completely.
when i first went to my doctor with depression i wasn't really sure about how to tell him so avoided it for months then eventully i gave in and confessed , all he did was prescribe me with anti-depressants and reffred me for therapy .and also asked me if i would like to switch to another GP who had a strong intrest in mental illness it is something that has to be done
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