im having the worst day of my life!!! it all started well with a nice bbq - then after that i went on the town drinking. well during the evening i had a clash with 3 guys who were extremely racist to me. during the clash i broke one of the guys phone and also punched him and kicked another. my very expensive watch was broken and soon the police arrived. i wassent to jail and managed by the skin of my teeth to get released by admitting that it was all my fault. the main problem is i have no self control and i was expecting a lengthy jail stay. now my will to go on has gone. im seriously considering a method tonight, if not tonight definately tomorrow. i tried to strangle myself in the cell with a sweater. it didnt work. but now im home i have several methods available. im a huge shame and burden on my family and ive descraced them all. the only way out is suicide soon. sorry to everyone here who have helped me in the past - now i just dont have the spirit to go on.