Hello. I have been suicidal many times in my life. I have 3 attempts that were unsuccessful but the last one was close ( 3 days in ICU on a ventilator). The fact that I am here is positive. My wife, I cannot talk to about how I feel. She views these feelings as selfish attempts at her, which is far from the truth. I would give anything to not be suicidal, to not have a form of bipolar disorder, to be normal, for lack of a better word. Maybe I can help some of you and perhaps you may help me, knowingly or not.