Hi 
So on Tuesday I had a suicidal incident. I've been hospitalised the last few days and now I'm finally home!
Being in hospital gave me time out to just think. I'm not sure my stance of suicide has changed really, its still something I crave. However, it was certainly very relaxing. I was a 'high risk' patient so had to be watched by a mental health nurse at all times and they would take notes on my mood every 15 minutes. Although that was kind of creepy and invasive, I'm actually really glad that they did that.
I've been rethinking my mental health a lot. I always do, I definitely struggle with finding myself and I always have done. My mood changes so often and so rapidly and my personality can change a lot too. So it was relieving to have someone document my moods so people assessing me can see the whole of me now instead of how I am at the time they talk to me.
I'm still very confused and I have to have new 'safety measures' put in place at school and at home. I'm switching from CBT to DBT. I am still unsure about what it is I'm going through, depression and anxiety doesn't quite fit entirely, but I do feel one step closer to finder out what I am and, more importantly, who I am.
So although I don't have any motivational or inspiring messages I just hope that everyone is having a good day, even if good for you means less than good for somebody else. I think we can all make it.
So on Tuesday I had a suicidal incident. I've been hospitalised the last few days and now I'm finally home!
Being in hospital gave me time out to just think. I'm not sure my stance of suicide has changed really, its still something I crave. However, it was certainly very relaxing. I was a 'high risk' patient so had to be watched by a mental health nurse at all times and they would take notes on my mood every 15 minutes. Although that was kind of creepy and invasive, I'm actually really glad that they did that.
I've been rethinking my mental health a lot. I always do, I definitely struggle with finding myself and I always have done. My mood changes so often and so rapidly and my personality can change a lot too. So it was relieving to have someone document my moods so people assessing me can see the whole of me now instead of how I am at the time they talk to me.
I'm still very confused and I have to have new 'safety measures' put in place at school and at home. I'm switching from CBT to DBT. I am still unsure about what it is I'm going through, depression and anxiety doesn't quite fit entirely, but I do feel one step closer to finder out what I am and, more importantly, who I am.
So although I don't have any motivational or inspiring messages I just hope that everyone is having a good day, even if good for you means less than good for somebody else. I think we can all make it.
