I've been posting in here a long time. Recently i've been posting and i've been feeling pathetic for doing it. I post and I post and I complain about myself and life. I can't begin to tell anyone what I feel whilst i'm compelled to post but the day after, when the pain receeds, I think what a fool i've been. I don't hate myself that much, don't get me wrong. I really need some advice. Pieces of music can send me into a torrent of tears. I want to live in dramas I see on TV. I romance about these things. I keep it together in the time i'm around others but i'm so lonely now. Every time it makes me feel this way and each time it feels like i'm getting closer to that stupid thing I tried to do years ago. I'm a shadow of what I could have been and i'm so scared i've got to live with that pain forever. I just need something and it's sending me crazy. Please I beg someone just to give me an answer. Drill it in to my head because I don't want to go back down that road. It's not going to be many years before the music and the stories get to me and send me to a place I don't know or love. My own passion is killing me and I hope no one has to suffer this burden. And then the music changes and my mind with it. I'm not even human. I'm just a ghost yet I feel compelled to post this now like I always do. It's not fair. None of it, for any of us. Such a challenge is ridiculous. And then the music changes again.. How do you ask for help with every song?