Need help but there is no one. Im not in a good place right now. Im getting worse. No one to tell no one who understands. Have been having sessions to talk about my past. But now im not in a safe place. Im consumed with thoughts I dont want. Im holding it together for my daughters sake but Im out of energy. After my last session last week I have remembered something that changes my outlook on one of the several areas of my life I hate. However instead of feeling better I feel so much worse. I remember him telling me I couldn't change my mind. I was 16 he was 35. I can see now that I was less to blame but I now feel so badly towards myself but in a different way. I see how simple I am, how pathetic and stupid I am. Before I remembered this I hated myself but for different reasons. I cant cope with new feelings. I dont want to be here anymore. I want to go to sleep and not wake up.