I'm new to the forum. I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia several years ago and did fine for years. About a year and a half ago, I got really stressed out and something changed in my brain to the point that I can barely function, and my head feels messed up all of the time, which causes me to feel suicidal all of the time. They always say that suicide is never the answer and that the pain is only temporary. That really frustrates me because I've been seeing a psychiatrist and have been on several different meds this past year and a half. I also went to the psychiatric ward at the hospital twice. Nothing has helped. Maybe for many people, their issues are a temporary thing, but in my case, I feel that I will be messed up in the head for the rest of my life. My psychiatrist thinks that it's my Schizophrenia that has progressed, but I just don't really know. I just know that something really terrible has happened to my brain. I think that my brain is probably damaged in some way due to getting stressed out a year and a half ago, but they did a CT Scan while I was at the hospital and it didn't show that there was any brain damage. I always did really well and was happy with life before this change happened. Now I feel like I want to be put into a nursing home or somewhere else where I would be safe as I'm tormented mentally continuously. Luckily I am on SSDI, as there is no way that I would be able to work with my mental state as it is. I'm still really coherent, but am tormented by confusing thoughts and my perception of reality is really messed up. At this point, I just don't know what to do. I just wish that there was some way that they could help me. Even if I were to be put into a nursing home, I don't really know where I could find anyone to help me. I just feel stuck with no place to turn. I always wish that I wasn't here anymore, but am not able to commit suicide even though I really want to. In my case, I feel like suicide is the only answer outside of living the rest of my life suffering every moment of every day.