I'm in despair, I really want to give in

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Hazel Morse, Aug 7, 2016.

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  1. Hazel Morse

    Hazel Morse Well-Known Member

    I "lost" my teaching job and had to move from China back to Australia. Back in with my parents, who despise me. My stepdad wants me out, I've been here a month.

    I'm sending out resumes in response to job ads, but no schools even bother to reply. Everyone who is not a principal of a school, even people in education says my resume is terrific, impressive, etc. But no one wants to hire me.

    When I got a job tutoring students for 250 - 300 $AUD a week, my family just asked when I could get a 'real' job. I've offered to pay rent but they won't take it. It isn't enough money to move out. The only place I could go is a hostel, I have no friends who will vouch for me to even rent a flat legally here.

    The move was really expensive, and I just found out today that the most important teaching resource, the book that could help me get another IB school and that can NEVER be replaced, was left back in Guangzhou.

    This last problem is the one that broke me. Constant low-level anxiety and massive depression is sending me over the edge. I know it's a stupid book but it's really a symbol of everything that's wrong and can't be repaired in my life. I want to get out of here. I want the utter despair to end.
  2. Deety

    Deety Well-Known Member

    Oh I am so sorry about the book. Is it out of print? I don't suppose anyone over there would send it back to you? Well done on the tutoring job, that is great! Don't let anyone bring you down about that. Are you able to get any kind of government top-up at the moment that would help with the living situation until you are back on your feet again? Anyway, I'm sorry you're going through all of this, hugs to you.
  3. Hazel Morse

    Hazel Morse Well-Known Member

    thank you, I'm trying to cope for the past month but it just seems each new day brings new problems. The book itself is not important, I know, in the grand scheme of things, but it would have really been an asset if I applied to / got a job at an IB school in the next 2 years. IB doesn't publish these materials, they're from IB conferences.

    It's been a month since I moved, my landlady probably threw it out. The Chinese do not like 2nd hand goods b/c they feel bad karma from a previous owner can attach itself to objects. Wait till they get a hold of my karma

    I will look into govt assistance, because I may qualify at present; but going to the Centrelink office was terrifying when I was at university and relatively ok.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi @Hazel Morse I am glad you got the tutoring job, that helps you out a lot I bet. It's better than nothing. I am living on about the same money, I am currently saving (mom won't take rent money off me either) I am managing though on the money and saving a small amount. Could you afford a room share in an apartment or house? Could you do one to one tutoring outside of your already tutoring? I wish you the best of luck, keep the faith my friend x
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