I found this site last night and I must say its pretty interesting. I write this with tears in my eyes, thinking about my kids that will grow up with no father and my mom that will be destroyed to find out what happened to her baby. Im sitting in my "room" a little space I built in my garage that I use for my office but its really a place to get away from everybody. Anyhow to make a long story short, as of today my marriage of 20+ years is over, I just found out that my kid had been experimenting with every drug known to man and my business just failed- I owe about 100k to creditors. I dont want to get married again or date, I am not a good role model to my kids, Im so depressed and insecure I cant talk to anyone. I dont want to start a new business or learn a new job, working for some a-hole. My wife wants to end it because I just stay at home in a bad mood all day and have no more ambition and she told me that she has grown and I have not. I have no idea how to grow, I'm a guy Ive been on Zoloft for about 10 years and has helped with anger but just takes all the life out of me. I gained 30 lbs and cant get motivated to save my life or marrage. I have no friends, interests, family life, job or hope for the future. I've disappointed every body that ive had a relationship with. Why live when all you feel is pain and you dont know how to fix it. My "religion" has been pretty much useless, I haven't heard from a Christian friend in about 10 years, if you don't toe the line you are invisible to them. I just wanted to put a few things in writing while I have a a fairly clear head. A hundred years ago people my age were usually dead . I think its time for me to go. I'm not going to make a big spectacle out of it, just fade away. "The Most Peculiar Man"