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I'm In Too Deep

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Moses, Oct 22, 2011.

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  1. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    so, for the past month or so I've been getting worse. At first, i thought, "this is manageable. I've gone into these spirals before and I always come out." But I'm starting to think that there's no going back. I've been seeing a girl that I really like for a little while now and instead of it making me happy I feel worse. I feel like it's impossible for her to actually be interested in me. I mean, how could she? Everyday, I feel like it's the day she decides to move on once she realizes how worthless I am. I feel like if she ever finds out that I feel like this: that I feel inhuman, disconnected and worthless, she's going to hate me. I should be thrilled to be with her but instead, I'm even more critical of myself. I can say with near certainty that I've become so screwed up that I can't have a normal human relationship with anyone.
  2. understandingnothing

    understandingnothing Well-Known Member

    As cynical as you are she obviously sees the good in you and likes you,sometimes it good to be honest and others it better to let people find out in there own time.

    Dont be to hard on yourself :)
  3. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Moses, sometimes we get in a mindset that we don't deserve anything good. Usually we've had trauma of some sort that has twisted our thinking.

    We feel bad about ourselves and don't see anything good in our own being.

    Obviously you have connected with someone who sees some good. Its important to try and see the good in yourself as well.

    I do understand the feeling of "when will the other shoe drop". Its like when something good happens we wonder "when will it end?" This thinking is a real butt kicker cause it stops us from enjoying the good things that do happen.

    Be kind to yourself. Care for yourself. You are worth these things.
  4. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    thanks, guys. I guess I was just over-thinking things. Guess I should just let things run their course
  5. Aloe

    Aloe Member

    i feel the same way you do about the amazing man im with that if he ever saw the real me hed run so far im so afraid but i dont want to lose something so wonderful and even if it isnt forever the one bit of light he brings to my darkness is worth it.
  6. therapy_fan

    therapy_fan Well-Known Member

    Ive been having the same thoughts today! :( I just cant function, ive been ok but then the love of my life tried to kill herself.... then my life got really upside down!! hopefully it gets better.....
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