A few months ago I began a relationship with a person I love more than life itself. But now I'm not sure if it's really meant to be, no matter how hard I try to convince myself that it is. I love her with all of my heart, but more as a best friend than a lover. And even though I know she loves me unconditionally (or at least I hope so) she still wants to change a lot of things about me...even if a lot of the changes she wants would be for my own good, I feel like I am slowly losing myself, and my sanity. I feel like I'm living a double life almost...trying to be myself, and the person she wants me to be. I want to be completely honest with her, and I want to do anything I can to make her happy...but I feel so fake because of it. I've agreed to everything she wants, even though it doesn't feel right. I feel like the both of us are too young and immature to do all of the things we've planned. (Buying a house getting married, having a baby right away) I've tried to talk to her about this, but she says I'm just being negative. I just don't feel ready though. I'm only 17, I don't have a job, and I currently can't work due to health problems. Also, she lives in another country and plans to move to the US and buy a house with me next year... I just don't know how we will afford it, especially since she wants and big house, and to have a baby asap. I think I am going crazy... I don't know how I've let myself get in so deep. I love her so much though, and I don't want to lose her. I know I'm not ready for this though, but whenever I try to tell her that, she says something to reassure me and convince me that we are meant to be married and have children. It just feels so wrong to me, and I feel horrible and dishonest for agreeing to all of this, but I just want her to be happy. And as much as I love her, I have trouble trusting her and her intentions sometimes. She's admitted to using and taking advantage of me in the past, and doing things that she knew would hurt me, as well as breaking promises. I've always forgiven her completely, but still I can't forget...and those things have made it harder to trust her completely. I don't know what to do... Half of me just wants to get out of the relationship before I lose myself completely. But the other half is terrified of living without her. But more than anything, I don't want to hurt her. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt her...but I don't know any painless way to tell her I'm just not ready for all of this. I know it's all my fault for agreeing to do all these things just so she'd be happy and stay with me, but I can't keep living this way... What should I do? Any advice at all will be greatly appreciated... Thank you so much!