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I'm infatuated with a flat mate

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Hache, Nov 4, 2009.

  1. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    What to do, what to do?

    It is getting to the point where it is starting to become a problem. I've liked the girl for a while, but now its getting stronger, now that I am getting to know her more. Now that she looks straight at me, smiles at me, sticks her tongue out, says things to me. But I musn't exaggerate this, I'm not going to say these are good signs because I cant read.

    Positives :
    For the last 2 weeks I have not been depressed, I have been fine, I wouldnt say happy, but not sad, I've been acting happy.

    Negatives :
    The infatuation is becoming an unhealthy obsession, it is effecting my sleep, my thought, infact at one point today I started to feel physically sick thinking about love. I am becoming slightly paranoid as well. Also when I am in bed, being the dream maker, I play out in my head over and over what I will do, how I will spill my emotions, then when I am up and fully awake the next day it just seems silly and unrealistic.

    I've had this problem 2 years ago, as some of you on here will know and remember.

    There has to be a solution other than "the only way to get over someone is to find someone else"

    Why am I even trying to get over her, she is actually single. I need to tone all this down and somehow get back to reality.
  2. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    What is preventing you from asking her out?
  3. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    general nerves, what to say and fear of rejection, where would it all leave me given that we live together.
  4. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    I'd say go for it, if you get shot down you get shot down. Easier said than done for sure but if you ask her out at least you'll get an ending regardless of what her answer is, although it's probably going to be a good one. Doing things and then not having them turn out right is pretty awful for a while but they pass, never doing them at all sticks with you for the rest of your life.
  5. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    I'll wait until we are next both drunk, but I do not know what I will say, maybe I will just suggest something through a compliment and see what happens
  6. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    Eh... when you're drunk. That could lead to her giving out a 'yes' due to inebriation, or her suspecting you are joking due to your own alcohol consumption.
  7. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    I'd say go for it. What is the worst that could truly happen? If she says no then it's a no and you can both move on. At least you'll have peace of mind knowing you tried. Otherwise you could end up regretting it the rest of your life and that's ten times worse than putting aside your anxiety for a few moments.

    I know it's impossible to think of actually going through with it- I mean like you said- we all lay awake at night playing it out in our heads but when the time comes to act we freeze up or convince ourselves we aren't worth it. I regret not saying anything, I regret not letting him know how I felt and I wish I would have just sucked it up and at least found out whether or not it would have worked or if he even liked me back. All you can do is be honest, if it works that's fantastic, if it doesn't- at least you tried.

    I really agree with shock me sane, I think drunk is NOT the way to go. Maybe for a compliment but as for really letting her know I think you should just tell her when the moment feels comfortable.
  8. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    There never seems to be the right time when at home though :(