For a long time I havent been able to feel like this. I finally have someone I like and I am finally able to accept the fact that I have feelings for him. And so Ive been thinking of finally coming out of my shell and try to make a change by taking the initiative to appreciate myself a bit more so he'd start to appreciate me too. And Ive been giving it my all, Im being as patient as I can be, Im trying hard to be "out" there just so I could make some sort of connection with him. He's a friend and a classmate of my brother. My brother's also aware of how I feel about his friend and yet it's just so fucking frustrating at how he talks about the guy and another friend of him being a thing right in front of me like why dont he just fucking stab me instead? I know Ive no right to dictate who he supports and that if the guy I like likes someone else I cant do anything about it but please be a bit more sensitive. Im angry and frustrated that I seem to be nonexistent to the people around me and its driving me crazy that no matter what I do it'll lead me to think that "of course he'd choose her than me" or "as expected, Im nothing".