I'll start with reasons: I'm moving in 2 weeks. Loosing the girl that i finally feel emotionally bonded with. My dog (my biggest 'anchor') is still missing. I'm loosing my cats (can't take them to new house) Moving far from my niece/nephew. Loosing the house i experienced so much in. Emotionally i feel 0. Lost my girlfriend a few months back, And now my current one too. Still have legal fuzz. Feel like a complete failure. I hurt my loved one.. By leaving when she needs me. My friends can't offer support, they are ALL depressed. Said girl threatened suicide/SH recently. My Ex actually tried/almost committed suicide/SH after meeting me... My other Ex SH/threatened, again apparently thanks to me.. My other Ex was suicidal/SH, not over me. But i'm sure i made it worse. My former friend, admitted she was suicidal at one point.. see a pattern? My friend that i called in for a save, also admitted to trying multiple times. I feel responsible for making my loved ones feel like "going" Some thoughts: I'm surrounded by it.. Everyone i know seems to want out. I feel nothing, not sad, happy, upset. Just nothing. I just want to go back to my dad. To spend more time by his side. I feel like maybe.. I can live in a place where i can have power over things.. To have a second chance. Like a lasting dream. Past the idealism of the last comment, i feel death will be something far better. I know it will be.. And it will end this pain. I'm just tired.. Of fighting so that i can make everyone else happier, having something to compare them selves too. That's all my life has been.. People bringing/holding me down.. So they can compare their lives to it, and feel better. Sorry to feel this way.. I won't let it bring anyone else down for too long. I hope.