I'm just "gone" ((trigger?))

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lorax, Oct 18, 2013.

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  1. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    I'll start with reasons:

    I'm moving in 2 weeks.

    Loosing the girl that i finally feel emotionally bonded with.

    My dog (my biggest 'anchor') is still missing.

    I'm loosing my cats (can't take them to new house)

    Moving far from my niece/nephew.

    Loosing the house i experienced so much in.

    Emotionally i feel 0.

    Lost my girlfriend a few months back,
    And now my current one too.

    Still have legal fuzz.

    Feel like a complete failure.

    I hurt my loved one.. By leaving when she needs me.

    My friends can't offer support, they are ALL depressed.

    Said girl threatened suicide/SH recently.

    My Ex actually tried/almost committed suicide/SH after meeting me...

    My other Ex SH/threatened, again apparently thanks to me..

    My other Ex was suicidal/SH, not over me. But i'm sure i made it worse.

    My former friend, admitted she was suicidal at one point.. see a pattern?

    My friend that i called in for a save, also admitted to trying multiple times.

    I feel responsible for making my loved ones feel like "going"

    Some thoughts:

    I'm surrounded by it.. Everyone i know seems to want out.

    I feel nothing, not sad, happy, upset. Just nothing.

    I just want to go back to my dad. To spend more time by his side.

    I feel like maybe.. I can live in a place where i can have power over things.. To have a second chance. Like a lasting dream.

    Past the idealism of the last comment, i feel death will be something far better. I know it will be.. And it will end this pain.

    I'm just tired.. Of fighting so that i can make everyone else happier, having something to compare them selves too.

    That's all my life has been.. People bringing/holding me down.. So they can compare their lives to it, and feel better.

    Sorry to feel this way.. I won't let it bring anyone else down for too long. I hope.
     
  2. the black raven

    the black raven Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you feel this way Lorax, I don't know what to say, I hope someone can help you. But I guess no one can be much help in your current condition, about your exes, and other family member too... I'm really sorry. But you are not alone, you can still with us, you won't be a burden to us at all. You can talk to us, we are here to help. I hope things will get better for you.
     
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