Hi welcome to the forums
@DreamALittleDream, we're glad to have you here. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment.
A lot of what you said is relatable to me, as I'm sure it is to other people on the forums. When we're feeling depressed, we can tell ourselves things that aren't true, or otherwise exaggerate them. Although it may sound like a bit of a cliché, I'm sure you are good enough. Things can get better for you and you can feel better.
In the meantime, you'll always have a place to share and get advice and support here on the forums.
Hang in there. Stay safe. Sending hugs
.