I'm just plain dumb. Now, I'm hurt beyond belief... What is wrong with me?? HELP!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by stuckinchicago6, Apr 18, 2010.

  1. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    So this guy calls me and like an idiot, I dropped my friend to go and meet with him. Not something I would do, but I just really really really like this guy.... He wanted me to meet him at his friend's birthday party. I shouldn't have went after he called me a virgin who didn't qualify on text message, but I am dumb and desperate. Because my father never really gave me attention and we never had a great relationship, attention from men just really means a lot to me. This guy is somebody I really like. Anyway, I have no idea why he called me to come out. He was with his guy friend all night. They were talking in their language all night. He was trying to flirt with girls all night and then we went to a club and we were going to meet up with a friend of mine. I love to dance and I just thought it would be a good chance to get away from the atmosphere that was the birthday party. My friend had me meet her at some nasty place. Gross! Also, my girlfriend was with one of her friend's. This guy totally tried to flirt with her friend. I was so embarrassed and humiliated. Worst night ever.. I should never have left my friend I originally was hanging out with to go with this douche bag. I still like him though and I don't know why. When him and I first went out a few weeks ago, he just seemed soooo sweet and kind. He is just a player and a jerk.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    you're right ..he sounds like a jerk...you can do better.....
    chalk it up to experience even though it hurts...
    take care..
  3. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Right now, I just can't sleep so I am going to add to this thread just to feel better. Every time I go out, I feel worse. Life just sucks. Anybody who wants to talk on MSN, you would really help me. I have no ativan left and I can't sleep now. I just feel so empty and so ugly. Like the ugliest person in the world. I wish I would have never took this guy around those girls. They are probably going to talk about me behind my back now to him. I'm soooo paranoid. >.<
    Whatever. I don't care. I think I'm going to erase him off my FB and change my number just so I don't constantly wonder about him. I made a fool out of myself tonight.

    WORST THING: I am out of ativan. I've been taking it for a year, so I can't just stop taking it. It is 6:21 a.m. on a Sunday, so I have no way of contacting the doctor! What to do? Anybody who knows about benzos- please help!
  4. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    does your doctor have an answering service or some other way to get hold of him? you need to call him asap and get that prescription renewed

    used to take ativan a long time ago and was on it for months - it's not the kind of med that you want to just stop taking - you have to work your way off it over time
  5. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    yea. i need to ask my mom and find out asap. i'm literally going nuts.
  6. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    okay, while you're doing that, do you have anything around the house that helps you relax - music, books, hot chocolate - stuff like that?

    if you do keep it handy

    if you want someone to "sit" with you - PM me

  7. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    I also just want to say that I feel even more lousy about this most recent guy when I think about my ex. His bday was on the 16th. He is all the way in another country. He will not even be my friend anymore. I miss him soooooo much sometimes. I just wish I could still call him a friend. I knew him since 1997 when I was 9 years old. The familiarity I felt with him meant a lot to me. I wished him a happy bday and he didn't even respond. This is like the third time I have tried to make peace with him. Feels terrible.
  8. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Stop torturing yourself, please?
    >< don't give jerks the time of day! You need to be strong and tell him off!
    He's only looking for someone who is vulnerable and an easy target. Don't let yourself be those things.
    Love yourself first- and boys second!

    You deserve attention from the right kind of guys- and right now, you won't get it because you are weak and easy prey for assholes.

    I worry about you... please don't be upset.
  9. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for all the support. Everybody here has no idea how much it means to me, especially at a time when my own family and "friends" just can not appreciate the fact that I am having difficult times. You are right, Kitty. I need to stop torturing myself and learn to love myself. F*** what these boys think and getting their approval.
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you can stay strong and stop letting the idiot abuse you emotionally.
    you deserve better okay treat yourself better than him. Find someone who will respect you and treat you right You don't need him okay you really don't find someone who will treat you like you deserve with kindness and respect. Don't let any guy make you feel like a nothing okay don't do that