It hurts to breath, I can't sleep, my eyes burn, my head feels like its going to pop, my ears are ringing. I'm so tired. I don't know what my life would be like if I was well. I don't even remember what it felt like to not hurt. Every now and then, when the panic attacks get really bad, I start hurting myself... I don't cut, and I dont really notice I've been doing it for a while, but its kind of just repeatedly tapping something hard against myself. eventually I feel it, and sometimes it bruises really badly. I just noticed that I was doing it to my face... I have to go to class in the morning. Sit around on the college campus all day. Meet with my group. I don't want to do it anymore. Any of it. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. I'm so tired of being damaged. I should have the right to die rather than live in pain. Its not going away, its not getting better. Theres no way I can live like this.