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I'm just so tired.

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Well-Known Member
emotionaly and physicly. this is long so bare with me.

My father left me, my mother, and my two sisters for somone half his age back in 2000 I believe(I try not to remember dates). He told everyone out of the blue one day "i'm in love with somone else" to and 11 year old and 9 year old, and his wife of 15years. he left that day- we then fund out the woman was somone he worked long shifts with in the psychiatric ward, and pregnant. :dry:

We then had a flood (Alison 2001, in Houston) and it ruined our entire house- everything was gutted and thrown away. the night it happened we broke into our next door neighbors home(used to live there), and had 14 people, 3 dogs, 1 cat in the up stairs of the home. He was nowhere to help-at all. the 4 of us lived with our aunt in a 1 bedroom apartment with a dog while she redid her home- for months.

I haven't spoken to him in over 5 years, as he disrespected my mother on the phone, after making my little sister break down. when we did see him it was every other week, always a movie and he ALWAYS walked out in the middle to talk to her. Mum had to fight for child suppot, still does. and he refuses to pay his half of me and my sisters medical bills which are hundreds a month.

I've been depressed for sometime, and my first counselings were this fall-awful. I've been on many anti-depressents, with Cymbalta I lost the use of my legs temporarily. Now I've been going to doctors since then atleast trying to figure out what is causing these terrible debilitating headaces. i've been in and out of school until moving and am homeschooled- I don't know anyone besides online forums and family. I've never had an actual friend and i'm nearly an adult, legaly. Spinal taps, IV treatments, cat scans, blood testes, atleast 100 perscriptions tried, etc. nothing shows up and noting works.

I'm so tired. I spend MAYBE 7 hours out of bed a day. I'm not getting scool done, and I cannot stop thinking of leaving. I HATE HAVING FAMILY! they are the only thing holding back.:sad: I cannot do pills after being near a kid who tried and will forever be a vegetable, and after a few incidents my meds are locked up .

okay sorry for the long intro, but thats me.


SF Friend
Staff Alumni
I'm sorry sincerely that your life has been so hard.:sad: Doesn't seem fair, does it, that some have it so easy and some can barely get from one day to the next without incident.:sad: I can only send you hugs and hope and keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Feel free to post in any of the forums that seem appropriate to your need at the time. We're good listeners and having our own problems gives us compassion for the problems of others. Please lean on us when you are too exhausted to stand on your own. THat's what friends are for, and we are your friends!:smile:



jane doe

Well-Known Member
hi smashed, i just wanted to welcome you to the forum, and i wanted to telll you that if you need to talk, i am here, you can pm me at any time. i´ve read the troubles that you had and i wanted to make you know that i´m here if you need a friend. Here you will find support and nice words, that may be can help you to hang on. so i hope you pm me whenever you need it.:)
hi smashed and welcome to SF. Thank you for sharing your background with us. One of these things would have been enough to deal with in itself, but put them all together and I can see how it would be so overwhelming. We are here to support you. You can always PM if you need to talk. Take care. :hug:
Hey Dresden. I'm very sorry and sympathize with your situation. It's totally different from my own but I still am sorry. I hope things get better for you. I had a close friend who was in a similar situation as you; had to be homeschooled, had tons of tests and surgeries, and didn't have many friends. I understand how hard that can be. I know what it's like to be lonely too. It seems no one wants to be your friend if you are unhappy and not cheery all the time. Anyway. I want you to know that even though we don't know each other that you still have a friend in me. Email me anytime and maybe we can help each other if not by just someone to connect with. Don't let this beat you.

~*~ Crystal ~*~
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