I'm just so tired

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jasv, Dec 1, 2014.

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  1. Jasv

    Jasv Well-Known Member

    A lot of stuff has happened to me in the past and although I can't seem to let it go, I also can't seem to hang on to the present. Life is just so hard. I feel so.. disgusted of myself. I'm a failure. I'm nothing, but a waste of life. Having to wake up in the morning is so exhausting. I just can't do it anymore. Nobody wants to be near me. They love it when I'm away. My family just likes to borrow money from me and use my car. Otherwise, they all talk behind my back. I have nothing to live for. Nothing to get motivated for. I've tried to be happy. I tried moving and attempted to save money, but these feelings follow me. I'm so tired of always crying. Of always feeling down and depressed. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing the person in the reflection. I hate her. I hate myself. It's been like this for a long time now and nothing gets better, only worse. I don't want to go to work. I already quit school. I just don't want to live anymore. Everything is so damn pointless. I feel so out of place in this world, especially near my family. They all have their families and I have no one. They give me looks. Looks that tell me how they really feel. All I feel is anger. I hate my family, but not as much as myself. Sometimes I feel like cutting again, but most of the time I don't even have energy to pick up the blade. These feelings that I feel every single day is ripping me apart. I feel like I'm drowning and nobody can save me. I don't want to be though. I've finally given up. I realized that there isn't a place for me to go. Someone to love me as I am. I'm alone and I've never felt so alone before. Nobody seems to understand that the only way to get better is to go. I don't have the energy to do anything anymore. I just want to be released from this pain. Living has become such tremendous torture. I just want a chance to become happy and living won't make that happen. The sadness is too overwhelming. I just know everything will be okay once I go. I just want it to stop. This feeling that's killing me.
     
  2. siff

    siff Member

    Hey there. I know what you are feeling right now (kinda) cause I've been through that recently. Believe me when i say its going to past. I too felt that i wasn't worth anything in this world , so i started abusing everything from alcohol to sleeping pills which just made things worse. Mixing these would make me so depressed and angry at life that finally one morning i drank and ate sleeping pills, went to town and tried to kill myself in front of other people (i don't remember much from that day). Guess it was a cry for help, big time, but luckily i wasn't home alone doing these things. Anyway i feel so good being alive right now and when i look back i don't have those feelings of hopelessness anymore (I'm on anti depressants too, they seem to be working well). I know i have people around me that care and I'm sure you do too if you just could come out of that black cloud and see for yourself. Just saying. I was in that black hole for maybe 4-5 years.
    So what I'm saying is that the feeling you are feeling will pass and you'll kinda wake up from that nightmare, until then maybe seek some comfort in some exercise <mod edit - guidelines>. Best of luck to you. Right me if you need to talk ;)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2014
  3. maries

    maries Active Member

    I relate to almost everything you said. I play images in my head, pretending I'm someone else, someone not so angry, someone who's happy. & it usually helps. Is there anything that can distract you from your feelings?
     
  4. F.T.l

    F.T.l New Member

    I feel the same and i don't know what to do I tried to kill myself many times but it doesn't work
     
  5. Laura Masters

    Laura Masters Member

    how i also feel that everyday.. its so weird seeing peers on this site who actually relate to me. im used to being alone.. you arent alone..
    life feels blank, crying home in your car alone. nobody notices you, only see's your body as it comes through the door.
    thats it.
    i wish we could all meet, talk with eachother,
    to really feel that we're out there..
    i know most people can relate to you, i just with we could make eachother happy,
    but i want to let you know you are not alone, and that is for sure.
    separate, but not alone
     
  6. Your not alone. I feel the same, I'm sure for different reasons though...
    I feel like sometimes in a certain situation, that nobody wants to be near me, wouldn't blame them.
    I feel ugly alot of times. I feel like no one wants me, or if they do, they wouldn't if they knew the truth.
    I feel alone. Idk what to do.
    I feel like something isn't right. Somethings wrong with me, mentally I guess?? But idk what.
    I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling like this and I'm tired of this bs world.
     
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