I'm just so tired

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lucksyloser, Oct 3, 2016.

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  1. Lucksyloser

    Lucksyloser New Member

    I was actually looking up ways to commit suicide on google and came across this website so here I am.
    I just feel like I've had enough. It's too hard to carry on. I've overcome a lot but I've just hit a real low.

    My mum attempted suicide several times 5 years ago for very different reasons; she had a psychotic episode. She's doing a lot better these days.
    My family have a lot of mental health issues and I'm big part of their support network.
    My job is very stressful and involves a lot of empathy, on some level I wouldn't have it any other way; I like helping people. But I've forgotten, don't want to help myself anymore. To the extent that I just want to die.

    I finally spoke to (text) my best friend about it and I feel better for it to some extent I said I wouldn't do anything "silly".
    In my head I have an idea of what I want to do, I just don't know when to execute it. From my study's on suicidal ideation, all is not lost when you don't have a plan but when you do the risk escalates. Which worries me.
    I know, I told my friend but I don't want to tell anyone else incase I hurt them/they try to talk me out of it.

    I cry a lot at the moment as well. I've taken today off work so I can try and pull myself together and go back tomorrow.
    I'm on antidepressants (have been for over 2 years) and I've got a GP appointment next week, I can hold on until then but I don't expect some quick fix and I certainly don't want to go to hospital so I'm unsure how that's all going to turn out.

    I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to gain from this post but I thought it couldn't hurt to put it out there. Maybe that shows there's still hope?
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. I hope that you are still taking time to focus on yourself as you are important. What about counselling?
  3. Thauoy

    Thauoy Well-Known Member

    Please don't give up. Welcome to the forum.
    Lucksyloser likes this.
  4. Lucksyloser

    Lucksyloser New Member

    Thank you. I want to believe that.

    I think counselling may be an option it's just opening yourself up to someone.
    Frances M likes this.
  5. EveryWomanJ2911

    EveryWomanJ2911 New Member

    There is always hope. Whatever is happening right now is not going to last forever. Things change, and you can change with them. I know its tough, and you can feel trapped sometimes, but there is a better way out. Live a life that you choose. You matter. You are important. Your life has meaning and purpose. Find out for yourself what it is, and go towards that. Counseling helps, nature helps, journaling helps, exercising helps, group sharing helps. Keep trying and keep talking about what is going on. Things can get better, day by day. I "see" you. You are not alone. You always matter. Peace friend, peace.
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