I'm Just So Tired.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Atty, Jul 1, 2011.

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  1. Atty

    Atty Member

    I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm tired of being disgusted by myself every time I look in a mirror. I'm tired of being the best and that still not being good enough. I'm tired of feeling so ugly. I'm tired of feeling so unwanted, because really, if my own mother cast me off when I was a baby, who will want me? I'm tired of feeling like because my breasts aren't show I'm not going to get the solo in the next song. I'm tired of worrying about my classes when school starts again because I know they're going to want more than I'm able to give. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of kissing people's asses to even get half of what others get because I don't come from money and my daddy's not on the school board. I'm tired of being sent to second clarinet instead of first because I have to miss some practices because my grandparents are over eighty and can't just drive me somewhere on the drop of a hat. I'm tired of feeling like my family is just waiting for me to be gone so they can not deal with me. I'm tired of feeling like my mother's shadow. I'm tired of feeling like I can never live up to the standards she's set. I'm tired of never being enough.

    I'm tired of being tired and I can't do this anymore. I don't want half-hearted condolences. I just want someone who can empathize.
     
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I remember feeling as tired as you are feeling now. I stumbled through it. Eventually I got some decent help from the medical community.

    I do empathize with you. Are you seeing a doctor for your depression?
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    yeh me too hun dam ihope you can get through this patch of downs hun Keep talking here okay it helps
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi Atty,
    I think you are under alot of stress.. Can't you sit your parents down and have a serious talk with them.. Maybe one at a time so you don't feel like your getting teamed up on..Have you tried therapy?? It helps when you have someone to talk to face to face..I was in therapy for five years and we spoke about everything.. She knows my whole life history..Anyhow I hope you find peace of mind by being here.. Take care!!
     
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