I'm just such a gem aren't I..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by GoingGone89, Nov 17, 2010.

  1. GoingGone89

    GoingGone89 Member

    So I f****d up again today
    And I feel absolutely like s**t
    I honestly thought I was done screwing everything up
    And now I managed to do it again

    As if dropping out of school, quitting
    all those jobs I had, screwing up a relationship
    with the only person I've actually have ever loved,
    pushing my friends away and generally making my parents feel like crap
    Was not enough.
    I f*** up again today, now I'm looking at very posibly
    another year of feeling like crap everyday, living with my parents, being an A-hole to everyone and thinking of suicide everyday.

    I'm pissed at myself! I've managed to make my life impossible to live
    I'm seriously left with nothing
    It's not fair that I'm only 21 and I already just wanna die
    It wasn't fair when I was barely 16, and couldn't go to bed without crying myself to sleep

    Reading this I just sound so pathetic and foolish
    And all I can manage to do Is write about it?

    I'm sick of it, I've never felt this desperate before I really just wanna die
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I do not know what you did, but welcome to the human race...if I had a penny for each time I truly messed up, I would never have to work again...it has taken me so long to begin to know how to forgive myself, which I do poorly and never enough...please know you are not any of the things you say you are...maybe talking both here and to a counselor can help you find another voice...please PM me if I can help in anyway...big hugs, J
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are only 21 you are allowed to make mistakes screw up at that age because that is how you learn. Our failures make us stronger makes us smarter You will eventually find your passion and with professional help heal and perhaps with help of some meds too. Don't be too hard on you okay you have time to change little steps at a time and it will happen
     
  4. Suizide

    Suizide Member

    Are you abusing any drugs at all?