I'm just tired...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by xxRedTearsxx, Sep 21, 2013.

  1. xxRedTearsxx

    xxRedTearsxx Member

    I'm so sick of having depression. It wont ever go away! Its always lurking. And I hate having constant thoughts. I keep having weird homicidal thoughts, and I don't think Im the killing type. idk. SOmetimes Im afraid that if I had the means, I would actually kill someone. And i dont even know these people! They are just random people. It's usually related to where I am. Like riding the bus, I thought about killing everyone on there. Or listening to a speaker. I thought about how I would get past security and kill them. Its always with a gun. And I always kill myself after, in my thoughts. WHY?! whats wrong with me? I just want to cut or overdose or kill myself or something. Anything to stop feeling this way. I feel so alone. I feel like a burden to people, so I have a hard time calling friends and stuff. Plus, the ideations are so neurotic, I dont think anyone will understand. I feel like no one cares, though I know thats not true. Im just tired of everything, of fighting this for so long. I dont want to do it anymore. It hurts too much.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I can't imagine how hard it is to deal with these thoughts. Have you ever been to a counselor or therapist to try and talk out why you feel this way, why you keep having these thoughts? If you haven't, I definitely think it's a good idea to get some professional help so you don't hurt yourself or anyone else!