I'm just worthless.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ForeverAlone, Sep 22, 2011.

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  1. ForeverAlone

    ForeverAlone Member

    Hi guys...I've posted here once before but everythings gotten worse...

    I went to the hospital for suicide last week. I stayed in the psych ward for over a week. The stay was awful there. It was an adult psych ward and I'm only 16. I tried hanging myself while in the psych ward but I was stopped.

    They discharged me ONLY because I was getting more depressed in the ward.

    The trigger was my boyfriend dumping me, in a really violent matter. It involved my abusive ex and my most recent ex and the memory will be in my mind forever. (the suicidal thoughts have gone on for six years though. This was a "trigger" )

    He decided to give me a "chance" yesterday (the day after I got discharged from the hospital) and coaxed me into having sex with him again. I did that because he reassured me he wouldn't leave me if I did this. Tonight he just dumped me again. I am pushed to the edge, I want to die so badly. I just want to die.

    I am supposed to have two "safe contacts" in case I feel suicidal who I feel comfortable talking to. One was my ex and the other exploded and got mad at me and told me to kill myself.

    I can't take this anymore. I want to hang myself right now. I want to just die. No more.
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You have been used badly by two unpleasant men, that is awful but there are people out there who will be friends, who will understand what has happened and help you build another social circle.

    Please do not let a couple of abusers drive you to something bad.
    We are here to talk, PM me if you want.
     
  3. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    I share the same sentiments and you can PM me as well.

    Your ex-boyfriends don't matter anymore. I know it can seem hard, giving up somebody, but it's not. In fact, your life will be all the better for it, and I'm being completely genuine here. Do you think you need that person to be happy? No! You don't. All you need to be happy is yourself and everyone who truly loves you.

    Please don't kill yourself, because there are people here who'd rather see you live. I mean that.
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi Foreveralone, You have had a hard time of it.. Do you have any GF's you can talk to about this?? A therapist maybe?? You need a better support system..Haveing a professional is a good thing..Please don't harm yourself..You had two creeps who used you.. Thats kind of like rape..If you don't have a therapist then maybe you can check the states ability to offer services like that..Another thing you might try is check with the mental health people at your hospital know if there are any group meetings..They are usually free.Then you have us also.. You know we mean no harm..
     
  5. ForeverAlone

    ForeverAlone Member

    Hi guys.
    I am supposed to have a therapist but I cannot talk to them until they get surgery because I'm sick, and sickness + surgery = bad.

    It got worse. My ex called me and told me that he doesn't even care that he broke all my promises, and he doesn't give a shit. He made me cry my eyes out. He is ignoring my phone calls and my texts, once again.
    I'm in immense physical and emotional pain right now.

    I'm just giving up.
     
  6. IWantToBelieve

    IWantToBelieve Active Member

    ForeverAlone,

    You are important. Please hold on and don't do something you can never undo.

    Let me put this simply: Your ex is a piece of sh!t and doesn't deserve you. You need to stay the hell away from him. Seriously, I tend to be optimistic about human nature, but some people deserve nothing.

    You need love and you will find it. But not with that piece of cr@p. Stay away from him and taking care of yourself.

    Talk to you soon, everything will be fine.
     
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