im kind of confused...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by austinhp78, Jan 13, 2008.

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  1. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    recently ive been thinking of suicide much more, like ways i could kill myself, what i would put in a suicide note etc. the thing is though, at this time, i cant imagine doing it, like its not even an option i should put into consideration, although at this point, i have a feeling that might change sometime. what im confused about is whether this will progress to myself actually wanting to kill myself. are these the beginning stages? will it only get worse from here? :huh:
     
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    There's no sure way of knowing, it's different for each person. Time will tell.
     
  3. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    well this is just fucking great. well today, as it just so happens, has changed everything i just said in my last post. now i DO want to die. i cant cope with all this. i have no friends, cant talk to the person i love and want to be with, i'm a pathetic excuse for a life. let alone the fact that the midterms are coming up, and i have a massive graduation requirement project for english that is due tomorrow an i haven't even started. i just want to end it all, get this all over with. its not even worth it. nobody will miss me. its not like i have any friends anyways. it'll get rid of everything. AGH! i'm barely living now anyways why should i just keep going on? i just need to fucking end it... :nerves:
     
  4. Alastair

    Alastair Well-Known Member

    what happened?
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't end it austin. Things are really difficult right now, but I'm sure they will get better eventually. Try to be strong.
     
  6. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    noting in particular it was just sort of sudden build up. i was attempting to film a video for a class with a group of kids who were impossible to work with so this entire weekend ive been doing all the work they haven't been doing and pulling all their loose ends together and then when i got home today i was in a bad mood anyways and so i was just thinking about things and just depressing myself more and then i realized that i had to do this project and i just snapped. i dont know... its kind of a stupid reason but i just dont want to deal with this anymore. i constantly seclude myself, even when im with friends. life just doesnt feel like its worth living anymore.
     
  7. Alastair

    Alastair Well-Known Member

    screw the video, leave it

    leave it to the others

    see what unfolds

    what's the worst that could happen?
     
  8. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    well im good friends with the teacher and also its a midterm. i cant really do that. trust me, if i wasnt friends the teacher and it wasnt a midterm, i would definitely ditch it but i just cant do it.
     
  9. Alastair

    Alastair Well-Known Member

    but if your thinking of checkin' out whats the difference?
     
  10. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    im thinking about it but i really dont want to. so if i force myself to keep going on then it will keep it out of the option. i dont know... doesnt really make any sense...
     
  11. Alastair

    Alastair Well-Known Member

    It requires courage not to surrender oneself to the ingenious or compassionate counsels of despair that would induce a man to eliminate himself from the ranks of the living; but it does not follow from this that every huckster who is fattened and nourished in self-confidence has more courage than the man who yielded to despair.
     
  12. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    thanks... is that a quote? its really nice :smile:
     
  13. Alastair

    Alastair Well-Known Member

    Soren Kierkegaard i think

    any time mate
     
  14. please dont do it... we can get through this, i found you and you shouldnt leave me here... i need you, and you might need me...
    i feel exactly the same cuse were in the same situation, i know how you feel and how hard it is but we CAN get through this... we MUST get through this... just hang in there
    :hug:
     
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