I'm knocking on the window of life but to no avail

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thebaronspell, Nov 25, 2010.

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  1. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    Been a while since I last posted on here but my situation with friends hasn't changed in the slightest. I received a text from a girl I knew from college and she basically referred to my ongoing absence on facebook as premeditated because nobody would care if I was ignoring them or if I was looking for somebody to answer my silent prayer. She then invited me to her 21st birthday party but made it clearly so that I should bring my friends along but the truth in that is she fancies my mate and I've so far refused to do her dirty work. My other friends on the otherhand have been more hesitant in getting in touch to see if I'm ok or not. From what I've seen online my so called best friend is making out that I'm ignoring him but since confronting him over why he told everybody I was boring and that I wasn't to hang around with him and everybody else on their nights out anymore he has been making out so I'm the bad guy and making me look like the villian. He doesn't understand me as much as I thought or wished he did because as many of you know I'm fine to be the life of a party but after that party ends I just want to be the real grumpy me but no they insist I must be happy 24/7 and I've had enough.
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    just want to say i read your post and i'm sorry you are feeling so isolated from your friends. that's a terrible feeling. true friends are few and far between, that's been my experience. perhaps you can learn from what went wrong and have a better connection with some new friends. you are right to not let people use you. you deserve better.
     
  3. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your advice, will keep myself to myself still though as I've learned having friends is lame.
     
  4. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    I think the lesson you really need to learn is not to expect too much from your friends.
    Friends come in different types. Very rarely, you get the lifelong soul mate type of friend and if you do get one of those, then you're blessed.
    Then you get the next level of friends who can be depended on to help you out when you're skint and that sort of stuff. They often end up life long friends too but there's a limit to what you can expect from them. They have their own lives remember and friendship is a two way street.
    Finally you get the sort of friends that you seem to have at the moment. They're the 'lets go out and party' friends. The ones you go out and have a good time with but don't get overly involved with. Or at least you shouldn't get overly involved with these sorts of friends. You can't expect anything from them other than to go out and have a good time. That's okay though, its fun to go out and have a good time and since they can't be dependable for you, you don't have to be dependable for them either.
    I'm sorry that you're hurt by the actions of your friends but you're really expecting far too much of them. Your best friend doesn't have the knowledge or the skills to understand you so you shouldn't expect him to. Plus we all whinge about our friends now and again, it's only human. Don't take it to heart. In ten years time, you won't even remember it.
    Plus, why not hook up that girl with your friend? Would it be so bad to do that?
    You get to look like an alright guy and it might go disasterously wrong between them and then you can laugh. Which sounds evil but hey, that girl may well need to learn that you should be careful what you wish for.
    Place some distance between you and your social circle on a personal level and see them as just people to go out and have fun with. Don't expect too much. xxx
     
  5. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    You've summed up the animosity I have towards my friends like a perfect comb joint. I've come to the stage in my life where I don't have any emotional feelings for anybody and I couldn't care less if any harm came to my friends in the near future because something in my inner self tells me they wouldn't be upset about me either. I didn't necessarily mean to be rude to my friend who wanted to hook up with my mate because I gave his name so she could look him up on my facebook. He doesn't fancy her but there in no way I'm telling her that it's between them. She keeps texting me but I have nothing intresting to talk to her about plus she is a women and they often bore me to sleep. I don't like talking to men either but that has something to do with my childhood to be honest. x
     
  6. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    What's a comb joint?
    Is it animosity or is it boredom or a lack of respect? I don't mean lack of respect in the sense that we should all respect other people, but in the sense that you've got to know them and don't think much of their morals/principles/intelligence/actions/whatever.
    I know people in my social circle that I've got no respect whatsoever for. I wouldn't treat them without respect of course but I don't think much of them. I don't seek them out and I don't particularly care about them.
    I meet people who bore me to death. One of the senior managers in my work place once spent 20 minutes explaining to me how she did her ironing. Why she thought that would be of interest to anyone (including herself) is beyond me. I now avoid her like the plague but still have to work with her.
    The world is full of boring, dull and stupid people and whilst you should treat everyone in the manner that you would like to be treated yourself, you don't have to get involved with them. You need to meet some more interesting people. (They bring a different set of problems but at least you don't get bored)
    xxx
     
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