im leaving

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by undercoverlover, Mar 16, 2014.

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  1. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover smooth and grey as far as the eye can see

    ive got a plan and im willing to act on it. i just dont know when. i dont know when will be the right time. i know if i survive ill have to go through all the bullshit i did last time but maybe i wont. im so tired of waiting for my doctors to figure out if residential inpatient is what i need because its so obvious since im hanging onto life by just a fucking thread. i cant do this anymore.
  2. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Am sorry that things are so bad at the moment for you
    is there anyone that you can contact when your feeling like this
    would talking to someone on a crisis line help ?
    I know what its like to be on the edge of doing something like that i feel that way all the time
    av lost my step dad to suicide id hate that to happen to you
    please hold on
  3. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover smooth and grey as far as the eye can see

    thank you
    i have tried to talk to people, but a lot of them dont understand. crisis lines help me get through the night but then the feeling returns by morning. it just feels like there is no one to talk to at this point.
  4. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    do you know if there a peer support line ( peer meaning people who have gone the same things you have )
    there is this site you can pick who you are talking to from different agencys
    or keep talking here
    please hold on
  5. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover smooth and grey as far as the eye can see

    i will try but it is really hard. i dont know how much longer i can hold on
  6. LastChoice

    LastChoice Member

    Go to the emergency room if your doctor will not admit you on his own. If you are as close as I was to suicide and still am at times then you need to go there and don't leave until those feelings go away. Please, keep searching for that one true friend that will battle through everything your are going through with you. Do whatever it takes to save your own life as if you were saving someone elses. I do know exactly the feelings you are feeling. I know they are just words but if you truly love yourself you will find the help you need. It is out there.
  7. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover smooth and grey as far as the eye can see

    my mom certainly wont let me go to the ER. idk im seeing my therapist wednesday but my mom doesnt think things are a big deal. when i told her how bad things were, she said "oh but if you go residential inpatient, youll miss that big school field trip weve been so excited for!" she just doesnt get i am hanging onto life by a thread right now. if i were in charge of my medical stuff i would have admitted myself to the hospital a long time ago.
  8. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Don't listen to your Mom. She's in denial. Maybe? If she won't listen to reason find someone who will & can--even if that means a cab driver! Go where you need to go. The hospital. They can help you there. School trips are a blast, but let's get real here, priorities are not in order. I am pulling for - & here for - you & only you. I mean that, too!
  9. Rob_

    Rob_ Member

    With respect, you're looking to take your own life, but wont go to the ER because your mom wont let you....

    I think in terms of priorities, I'd say potential suicide has it all over getting permission.
  10. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover smooth and grey as far as the eye can see

    i talked with my mom last night and i told her everything -- i was completely honest about my plans. weve been planning residential inpatient for a while but she finally got out of her comfort zone and said it would probably be a good idea. im talking to my therapist about it wednesday. thinks are looking hope, hopefully.
    @rob_: you may be from a different country but where im from, i literally cant admit myself to the hospital without my mom or dads permission (because im underage). they are in charge of all my medical information. i would have admitted myself already if i could have.
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