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i'm living for them, not myself.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by pancreaticallychallenged, Sep 19, 2012.

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  1. i'm torn between killing myself and finally making myself happy, or staying alive to avoid hurting the people who i know care.

    i don't know what to do.

    i want to die so badly, but i care too much about my friends and family to put them through that kind of pain.

    i'm tearing myself apart like this. i've never been one to help myself, i always put others before me. that's my biggest problem. maybe i should just try my best to make everyone hate me so that they'll be as glad as i am about my death.
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Compromise. Don't stay alive on their account and don't end your life on your account. Instead, continue to work hard to find the cause to your bad feelings and seek a plan for wellness. I don't know what you have tried so far to feel better, perhaps many things, but the compromise would be to continue trying. You obviously have people who care about you, and that is one of the greatest things to live for. Many on here state that unwanted and unloved. You already have a step up on many. Good luck to you.
  3. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    love, if you are dead you cant feel happiness. Try to keep going, try to find a reason, not them, but a reason for YOU. i live for the love of my animals. I love the feeling i get when i am with them. i hope you can find a so called "happy place" that can keep you going int he darkest times. Try to explore, for the time to find happiness is now- before its too late.
  4. fish.bulb

    fish.bulb Member

    You could gradually stop talking to your loved ones. People grow apart all the time. Instead of 'my best friend is now dead' it becomes that guy i used to hang out with after college is dead. It hurts less. I have been working on this (actually I am too anxious to socialize, so this is just a happy bonus).

    It could also be that deep inside, you don't want to die, and are grasping at anything to stop you. If they really do care about you, they may want to help. Some people enjoy helping others, saving them.
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