I'm losing hope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Wheres_The_Light, Nov 14, 2010.

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  1. Things have a way of going great in my life then BAM something terrible happens and the flood comes in. My life was going great. My horrible stepdad and his kids will be moved out by december. I have an amazing boyfriend. My friendships are strong. I fixed my relationship with my dad and brother. I am going to graduate this year and am getting to school on time. I am gonna get a ready to get a new job. Couldn't be better right? Well i got into a car accident. It would not have been that bad but i had to take a probationary driving class and i was warned to not have traffic violations. I got a careless driving ticket and a fine for not having my license on me. I am going to lose it for nine months. My boyfriend doesnt drive so i am afraid its going to make us fall apart. I have to get to school and work. I am debating suicide and going back to drugs again. Last year i was a benzodiazapine head. I cant accept responsibility for my actions. Whenever im drunk i drink to the point where i dont wanna wake up. i cant even cry anymore after all ive been through. :( its my senior year and i cant drive. i feel like no one will talk to me :(
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    please don't do anything to hurt yourself.

    so it sounds like a bunch of things were going right.

    there may be a way that you can get to work and school and see your boyfriend, or somehow make things work out.

    getting self destructive about this can only make things get much, much worse.

    I'm really tired right now, so I can't think of what to say

    more later?
  3. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum! It does sound like you have some good things going for you. Id encourage you not to lose sight of this. I too have had a few traffic violations. I even lost my license once (didnt even know it), and found out the hard way I had. For me it was simple ok i did mess up, and these are the consequences. I do what Im suppose to and it wont be a prob. I have to carry an sr22 on my insurance for about another 6mon maybe less even tho technically I cant drive my car atm. Itd be nice to save that money towards ins atm, but cant. In the meantime Im takin the bus or walkin to where I need to go. Its good for me to know this wont be forever. Could be much worse too. This is only temporary. I have found this perspective helpful, & not as discouraging. We live and learn, and hopefully do better via our experiences. Btw I just had the coolest experience on the bus a few wks ago. Its not ALL bad. Take care
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    it sounds like your license could be taken away, but you don't know that for sure

    you may want to talk to a legal aid organization

    if you explain your need for a car, it could be that a judge would either not take your license away, or postpone the suspension of your license until you have graduated.

    even if you had your license taken away, there could be a way that you could still get the transportation that you need

    please don't respond to this crisis by self-destructing! I don't know what traumas you have been through, but I know that experiencing trauma can make it so much harder to deal with additional sources of stress

    do you want to talk about the traumas you have been through?
  5. that sounds good just message me i forgot my password and just signed in
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