I almost tried to kill myself friday morning and then I decided it wasnt a good idea. I was going to "take care of myself", and i was motivated. I dont want to take care of myself, I want to be sick. I caused my depression bc I wanted an excuse for my mistakes and I told myself I was worthless bc I felt guilty. I wasnt raped, it was my own fault, I was drinking and I got him to drink, yeah things got out of hand but i caused it. I am now feeling so guilty over all of the problems "my depression" caused that I want to hurt myself. If i tell my boyfriend I will end up taking more pills. I want to hurt myself and then Ill want to keep going and kill myself. I dont know if i want to die or need to die but I am losing control. I took my ADHD med this morning which is causing me to concentrate on the pain and aniexty rather then the 2 exams and 3 hw assignments due tmw. Should i be depressed all day and take pills which would lead to suicidal feelings or should i get my ass in gear and do the fucking hw of which Im frustrated at myself for putting off. Someone help me out here Im sick of the same shit happening every DAY!