im losing motivation to inject and take medicine.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kote, Nov 10, 2010.

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  1. kote

    kote Account Closed

    im a diabetic of 6 months. still suicidal and now very tired!!!

    im losing motivation to inject and take medicine.

    im 32 and have a whole host of other problems.

    im just getting tired of it all.

    whats likely to happen when i skip the medication other than my blood sugar will go up.

    i was on novolog and lantus 3 times a day.

    now im on victoza and amaryl.


    very tired of it all!!!
  2. kote

    kote Account Closed

    my assault charge has been reduced to just a fine but still im depressed about that. i was the victim who fought back but i get charged.
    now im feeling when i see the judge for a fine i will ask to go to the toilets and inject my spare insuline and go back and tell them im likely to be in a coma soon.
    im so tired!!!
  3. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    I understand how you feel. Being diabetic makes you very depressed at times.

    Furthermore committing suicide when you are diabetic is very easy.

    Perhaps you should first control your temper. If you are depressed, then there is little reason to fight back. Try and avoid being in situation where other people can get at you. This may not be possible for you.

    If it is any help to you, I'm suffering from type 2 diabetes. I'm not sure if you are suffering from type 1 or type 2. But since you mentioned injections, that sounds like type 1 diabetes.

    Steven Siew
  4. kote

    kote Account Closed

    im type 2 steven, thankyou for replying.

    ive only been diagnosed since april.

    maybe this is a bump in motivation which happens to everyone, i just dont know.

    as for bad situations, youve got it spot on. i no longer go anywhere where they may be many people. less chance of bumping into idiots who would set me off. im scared of myself in public situations and what i may end up doing.

    luckily i have a great wife who understands this. but im a burden to her now. makes things so much harder for everyone. i think about this often and well feel suicidal. cant commit though when i think of my kids.

    its just so hard and im so tired!!!
  5. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    I understand that you felt that you are a burden to your wife. Please do tell her that you appreciate all the love that she has given you through out the years. And that you are very sorry that you are unable to pay her back in kind.

    You should instead concentrate your energies on your wife and children. Say to yourself "I have no ego. My life is only for my wife and kids. I will endure humiliation and hardship for their sake."

    This will give you a reason to live. Whenever other people hurt your feelings, say to yourself "I will endure this suffering for my lovely wife and lovely kids. My pride does not matter. I no longer have any dignity. I will not defend my honor."

    Please do only "fight back" if they threaten your wife and kids. This way you can tell the judge that you are defending your family.

    Living is much much easier when you have something to focus on. For you this would be your wife and kids. Their happiness will be your happiness. Their joy will be your joy. Trust me, I wish I have a wife and kids too.
  6. kote

    kote Account Closed

    it was all racial. im white and they are all japanese.

    i reacted as i felt such racism needed a reaction so that it doesnt continue and the affect my children. i dont see everyone else as any different to me, we are all equal.

    i will just give up everything for them. but im so tired. my only emotions now are raw and that goes with self control too.

    i know im wrong!!! i will never be right!!!
  7. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    Your first step is to realise that you need to control your violent emotions. Before you react violently ask yourself these two questions.

    (1) Is my wife and kids in danger?
    (2) Am I in danger?

    If the answer to both of them are "no", then you must do everything to control your violent emotions.

    I do not know the situation which you find yourself and so I cannot give you specific advise. But your should understand that your emotions are a result of the physical chemistry in your brain. When it pass, then you can reflect on your actions BUT IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT is exactly when you need to exercise self control.

    This is very very hard and requires practice.

    That's why I ask you to say to yourself "I have no ego. I have no dignity. I have no honor to defend". This will help you control your emotions until such time that you can reflect on the matter in a calm rational non-emotional manner.

    I envy you. You have something to live for. Your wife and kids. You have a wife that cares about you. Life is much harder when you don't have something to live for. I can tell you that I do wish that there is someone who cares about me when I'm depressed and holds my hand.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 10, 2010
  8. kote

    kote Account Closed

    there should really be a thank you button which we could indicate our thanks to the poster.

    steven you are absolutely right. there really is no situation where i should feel the need to use violence, especially here. in that situation i felt i had no other choice but to react, out numbered and possiblility of being shoved or hit first. i wanted to walk away but i just reacted without thinking. now its my shame to to wear. i feel it and know i was in the wrong even in the circumstances. i guess this is where the cultural differences come in. in the uk you would need to fight your way out, here its all bravado and thats all, very very rarely goes to blows. im wrong in what i did and admitted to it straight away. im no liar even if im wrong.

    anyway ive just spoke to my wife, she is away on a school trip with her students for 3 days. maybe thats why im down.

    i have so much in this world, everything i ever wanted yet still im suicidal. it makes no sense to me at all and has been such a frustration for so long.

    anyway i will take my sleeping pills an slowly doze off. hopefully tomorrow i will be more up and if not i will take out the kayak and play about.

    i really do appreciate the time and effort you have given to listen to me and advise me. so few people have time for each other. and i really value that. thank you and all the best with your day pal!!!
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