I'm losing my mind!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Professor Lambda, Jan 13, 2016.

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  1. Professor Lambda

    Professor Lambda Active Member

    I don't know how much more I can take! It's just too much for me!

    Exams are coming up. If I fail, my chances of becoming a physicist will be significantly reduced. I simply cannot live without science. It is the only love of my life. I have sacrificed the idea of having a wife and children for physics! Sure, sure, I'm only fifteen bloody years old, but what does it matter?! Physics are more valuable to me than any wife or child could ever be! If I lose physics...

    I can't do the exams. I know I'll fail. I just know I will. I'm not good enough. What am I supposed to do? What am I going to do? It's just going to devastate me so much when I see the words... Failed.

    I can't do it, my friends. I can't. I want to give up now. I want to end it, I want peace!

    Why can't I have peace...?

    These waves of depression and euphoria! I can't... I just can't... I live in a virtual world, it is all which soothes my pain. I can't do it. Those four words, they devastate me.

    Why didn't I study from an earlier age... Why...

    I can't. I don't want to anymore.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Get a tutor to help you study now breath and start saying more positive statements you are setting yourself up to fail don't do that Get the support now a tutor the school can help you with that who will go over important material for the test
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Do you suffer from bipolar? euphoria and waves of depression are often how its described. You are 15, you have plenty of time to study, I never even finished highschool and still plan to study one day when I find what I want to do and I'm 26. You can do this , you can fight and beat this. Keep studying and it helps to love the subject too. I think you should see the school counsellor and explain your issues and hopefully you can work through them. Mental illness caught earlier can mean you have a better chance of recovery, good luck to you and I hope you're feeling a little better now :)
  4. Professor Lambda

    Professor Lambda Active Member

    Thank you both. I appreciate it.

    As far as I know, I am not bipolar. Never have been diagnosed. Though I definitely show signs. At one moment, I swear I feel great, but one single failure can throw me off balance and absolutely devastate me for the day.

    Yesterday was one of those days.
  5. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Why do you think you"ll fail, is it just lack of confidence in yourself?
    I agree with total eclipse, think positively, you can do it.
    Keep doing practice problems and try to understand the concepts.
  6. Professor Lambda

    Professor Lambda Active Member

    That's the thing. I learn it perfectly, but when I stop using it for more than a week, I completely forget how to do it!

    Linear algebra is easy enough. I had forgotten how to do it once, but after revising it, I haven't forgotten for over half a year. It's more complex algebra that is a problem for me. I do not know what it is called in English, for I come from the Czech republic.

    I passed a less critical mathematics exam today with a near-perfect score of 17.5/19 points. But it's not enough. These exams will be unlike anything I've ever seen before. They will cover the entirety of the past 9 years of studies. I simply can't keep that much information in my mind! And even if I could, it'd take months to revise!

    I don't know what to do, really. It's driving me mad.
  7. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Are you thinking of calculus? Like integration?
    Are you given a formula sheet?
    How much time do you have to study?
  8. Professor Lambda

    Professor Lambda Active Member

    No formula sheets as far as I know. I can post which things it contained, that's as far as I can get, because I am utterly unfamiliar with scientific and mathematic terms in English.

    I know for a fact there was this old formula which we still utilized from time to time in certain equations. (A+B)^2 = A^2+2AB+B^2 = (A+B)(A+B), or something along those lines. There were a few other ones alongside that one, though we knew of these last year already. Most equations look like this. I also note that this is old material, we have moved on to more complex algebra (I'm pretty sure it's algebra), which I find much easier than this horrid nonsense.

    Here is an example (from the top of my head, and I am very bad at making up examples):

    12 - x^2 ___ 4 + y ___ 2 - x
    ---------- * ---------- = ------
    16 + y^2 ___ 6 - x ___ 4 + y

    The ___ is a space. Can't get it to do spaces on its own.

    I note that this is an extremely simple and easy equation. There are far more complex ones which I struggle with. Those usually contain all kinds of different hidden equations within themselves!
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