oh well here i am again. after my last thread i decided not to post any threads again bc i felt like i was getting so desperate and frustrated that i upset or maybe even offended others. i wanna apologize for it one more time. im an impulsive person and im so so stupid. im just so tired of life. im tired of not being able to live with myself. but yet i dont wanna change. im so scared of change. i see me getting worse and cant do anything about it. i feel like im losing my mind. two nights ago i had a blackout. i have no idea what i was doing. it feels like i cant conrtol myself anymore. i hear myself talk or do things but its not me doing it. it scares the shit out of me. (i dont have tourettes btw) im losing touch with reality more and more.