Well its that time of year, every1 is going to uni, but I'm not, I'm repeating the year at college cause i messed it up because of my depression getting in the way. Well all my friends are going, all my best friends, and they have helped me so much, and its because of them I'm alive, because they are round me to make me feel safe, to love me, and to hold me. And now their all going away, and I'll have no1. I'll lose contact with most of them, and when they come back in the hol's we wont have as much in common, and things will be different. People have always told me that if anything live for us (your friends) so whats there to live for now, they rly were the only reason that I'm here. So their all leaving me, so I'm going to leave them too, there are things I have to do first, but ultimatly once they have settled in and started to forget me, thats it, I'm gunna go to hell. I mean I realise now that theres no reason I shouldnt, I'm sitting here with blood over my hands and wrist and want to cut more, so will be doing once I have finished. What a life! Causeing oneself more pain just to carry on living to then the next day cause more pain. Pointless if u ask me.