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I'm lost

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#1
I have been struggling with my suicidal thoughts for years.

I have a daughter who's mother cheated on my five years ago now (I know get over it right) and ever since we split she has done everything in her power to block my access to our daughter and hurt me. She has accused me of disgusting things which I have never done. I went through family court and had an order put in place, yet she still says no to every request I make even with the order stating otherwise and I am sick of having to involve lawyers every school holidays. She is constantly accusing me of being abusive and attacking her, I do no such thing but Im scared if we go back to court her lies will be believed and I will be worse off than I am now. I love my daughter to pieces and she is the only reason I am still standing here today, but this toxic relationship with her mother is draining and seems to show no signs of relenting.

My new partner expects a lot of me and gets mad when I don't live up to her expectations. I am worried that she is not the problem, and that the stem of our problems is the laziness that overwhelms me on an irregular basis and if I leave her I will be even less happy. I am being gifted some money by family to purchase a house and I fear she is only still with me for the money.

I have a decently respectable job but sometimes I wake up and am not capable of getting dressed, let alone showered, shaved and at work prior to 8am, my tardiness is starting to be noticed and I fear I may be unemployed soon.

I know that these are all trivial issues with easy solutions however taking on any of them is a daunting task and every time I work myself up to have one of the conversations I end up backing down and doing nothing.

I am struggling to see a better option than the easy way out.

Thanks for listening.
 

Mymindsmine

Well-Known Member
#2
Not trivial issue at all. I spent 20 years In same situation . Those on here will have heard how much I wanted to die after a relationship breakdown . I get all of what your saying. Sadly put the blue the person I disposed down it before me and now I’m left with the children .
 

Mymindsmine

Well-Known Member
#3
I was the first women to win a tribunal case over diverted income even wore a superwomen outfit as did the father for justice to get my point actors I won’t Csa after 16 years and then he took his life so all of it was a total waste cause now I feel sad and empathy over why he did it cause he was troubled with how much pain he has caused . So my advice is to just always have understanding that those who fight and have the most pain are the ones that need help the most
And you know what don’t live up to anyone be you and if it’s not enough then that just ok . Find a better life a better way one that doesn’t need us to be something we are not. It’s ok to just be ok x
 
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Daphna

Ninja of light
#4
I have been struggling with my suicidal thoughts for years.

I have a daughter who's mother cheated on my five years ago now (I know get over it right) and ever since we split she has done everything in her power to block my access to our daughter and hurt me. She has accused me of disgusting things which I have never done. I went through family court and had an order put in place, yet she still says no to every request I make even with the order stating otherwise and I am sick of having to involve lawyers every school holidays. She is constantly accusing me of being abusive and attacking her, I do no such thing but Im scared if we go back to court her lies will be believed and I will be worse off than I am now. I love my daughter to pieces and she is the only reason I am still standing here today, but this toxic relationship with her mother is draining and seems to show no signs of relenting.

My new partner expects a lot of me and gets mad when I don't live up to her expectations. I am worried that she is not the problem, and that the stem of our problems is the laziness that overwhelms me on an irregular basis and if I leave her I will be even less happy. I am being gifted some money by family to purchase a house and I fear she is only still with me for the money.

I have a decently respectable job but sometimes I wake up and am not capable of getting dressed, let alone showered, shaved and at work prior to 8am, my tardiness is starting to be noticed and I fear I may be unemployed soon.

I know that these are all trivial issues with easy solutions however taking on any of them is a daunting task and every time I work myself up to have one of the conversations I end up backing down and doing nothing.

I am struggling to see a better option than the easy way out.

Thanks for listening.
It disgusts me how women use children as a leverage or a punishment towards the natural father. My own mother made the decision to lie to me for thirteen years about who my biological father is. She claimed that the man she married was him. I could tell by the treatment he gave me that I am not.
Finally I got confirmation I needed and I confronted her. To my surprise she admitted it. Then she told me her side. I felt betrayed nonetheless. Who was she to keep this information from me? I suffered badly because of it. Having it confirmed only pushed me further into darkness. I have since forgiven her.
I want you to take heart and know that you may have to wait to see your daughter when she is an adult. My suggestion is to stop. Stop fighting now. Facebook stalk her mother to keep tabs and hopefully get pictures of your daughter as she gets older. Keep those pictures as proof you always cared and thought about her. Don’t send gifts, and don’t send money for birthdays etc. If you want, save that money for those things for when you do reunite with your daughter. Her mother can only alienate you from her for so long. In fact you may not even have to wait until she is an adult. At a certain age kids are able to choose where they want to live. Check the laws in your state or country. The next thing is vital, pray for your daughter. All kids who are denied their fathers have a rough childhood. Trust that when the time is right, you’ll be able to contact her yourself, and there won’t be anything her mother can do about it. She will still want to know you and to hear your side of the story. You will have your chance. My mother told me malicious lies about my dad. I met him when I was 26. He and I are closer than ever and I did learn the truth. He abandoned both my mother and I for selfish reasons. My mother met the man I’ve always known as dad and they underhandedly posted an add in the local newspaper of their plan of him adopting me. Knowing that my dad would never know about it to contest it.

I hope you don’t have to wait as long as we did for a reunion. I am praying for you and your daughter. Shame on her for her selfish actions. Rest assure she will reap what she sows. I do want to encourage you to live in the present and to make a life your daughter will want to be a part of. Don’t neglect your relationships, your health, or your happiness. My dad, unfortunately, realized he made a mistake at one point and just gave up. He never got to enjoy his life because it’s all he could think about. He never got married or had any more kids. He is single to this day with no hopes to meeting anyone to spend his life with. He is 60, and while that is young to some, it’s still harder to start a family at that age.
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#5
Hi there, welcome to SF.
I'm sorry your daughter is being used as a pawn in your exes game. You just never see that kinda shit coming when you're with someone do you? I think that is some of the worst part of the whole thing at times.
How old is your daughter? (Just trying to gauge how long you'll have to put up with this malicious bullcrap for) Is she old enough to voice her opinions about things yet? It sounds as though she's not and the age posted on your profile is fairly young. Your ex won't be able to make such wild accusations about you for very much longer because people will be able to ask your daughter if things are true, you know? Did this happen with dad? Did he say this? Did that happen with him and your mom? It's not ideal but at least it's something.
Your daughter needs you -- especially if this woman is as ratty as it appears. I hope you stick around and keep moving ahead. Have you sought professional help for therapy or medication? Either of those might help you get through this difficult time.
 

JDot

1 Peter 5:7
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#6
Hi @Atbats I'm sorry your daughter is being used against you. You'll always have a place here to share your thoughts and feelings. We're here for you. And we're glad to have you here.
 

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#7
Hello and happy to see you joined. You will find this a fine place to join up with support for all.
 
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