I don't think I'm meant to be alive. These thoughts come and go throughout the day and I'm so tired of suffering and feeling the pain. Sometimes I just act like I'm happy, I'm truly suffering every single day. There's so much sadness and anger inside of me. My heart is shattered into a million of pieces. Anytime someone wants to be my friend I feel like all I do is bring them down because all I do is cry due to my depression. All I am is a burden to people and I've been finding myself sleeping a lot and not doing a lot during the day. Sometimes I listen to music to try to carry on. Feel like disappearing again. I hate how I have bipolar, I hate it so much. Lately I've been looking at all my art lately and some of it is happy and some of is happy. Maybe if I disappeared again and kept to myself than I wouldn't have to worry about bringing people down and being a burden on people because that's all I am. Not even my own family understands my disorder and I had a lot of friends not being understanding about it and stop talking to me too. Gosh stop this pain, I'm so tired of crying.