I'm mentally and emotionally fatigued!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ladicius29, Feb 13, 2009.

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  1. ladicius29

    ladicius29 Member

    I haven't had a conversation with anyone outside of my wife, mother & father since june/08. I leave the house maybe 3-4 times a month and that is just mostly down the street to Wal-Mart when I feel strong enough. My family is tired of me and I think my wife can't take the ups and downs anymore. I don't really have a supportive support system. I've been off medication since October/07 and have tumbled into a sea of agony, despair, depression and suicidal/homicidal ideation(s). I'm scared of myself. I know I should get to a doctor right away, but I see no point. I feel utterly hopeless. I do not see a future for myself. All I seem to be able to think of is death. My brain is always scrambling around. It's as if I am standing in the middle of a Nascar track with cars going in excess of 200mph both ways. And I am right smack in the middle. That's my brain "off" drugs! I don't know what I need to do, but I do know that the fear and anxiety concerning my possible suicide is lessening more and more everyday. One day soon the threat will finally become a reality! I wish I had some encouraging support. I'm just SO fatigued I can't cope much longer, if you call this coping. Later :(
  2. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    perhaps u need to get back on your medication to stabilize ur moods / emotions. Of course it doesn't change your thoughts but it can make u feel better and calmer. ever considered that?
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey hun. .. i think it would be a good idea to see your doctor. you are not thinking rationally right now, and it's not your fault. '''the scrambling''' around that you spoke of, in your brain, ,, is proof that your brain chemistry is altered. so you are not going to think clearly or function well, in this case.

    if you don't like your former doctor, start over. maybe a fresh approach would help. .. .

    it's positive that you reached out - i hope you'll find support here. we all care, and we all understand, and many here have a lot of experience with medications, etc. .. so please keep reaching out....

    hugs xxx
  4. ladicius29

    ladicius29 Member

    Thank you in abudance. Just knowing that there are a couple of people who understand these mental hardships and everything that comes along with it, helps me get through, even if it is just for tonight. I agree I need help immediately. I called the local Mobile Crisis Unit today but hung up. I'm a lot skeptical as to how I would be treated and for how long I'd be away if I was upfront about every detail of my thoughts, feelings, symptoms, ideations, etc. Once again I appreciate the support. Thanks for listening. Hopefully tomorrow will be a strong day for me. Peace!
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Ladicouis,
    I also have irrational thoughts and they have me on meds for it. They help quite abit.. The only time now that it happens is when I have to talk to someone in person..My mind starts racing and my thoughts get all scrambled up. I will be talking and my mind races ahead to what to say next, this screws me up with what I was actually talking about and I stand there looking like an idiot because I get this blank look on my face.
    It also happens when i'm in therapy, she will be talking to me and my mind just either goes blank or I start thinking of other things. So I understand what you are going thru and how frustrating it is.. Please don't give up and talk to your doctor about meds for irrational and racing thoughts. They do help to an extent. Who knows it might even work better for you because everyones chemistry is different. Take care!!
  6. ladicius29

    ladicius29 Member

    Thanks Stranger1. Good to know my mind isn't the only one that seems to have a million things going on at once. I'll do that. Take care of yourself as well!!
  7. annrobert

    annrobert Member

    hello ,
    You sound like you are hurting so much,I hope you continue to reach out here and get support.I know what agony and despair and hopelessness feels like.medication did not help me ,but it does help many people ,it could be worth it to try,it sounds like it helped you before.I do think going to a doctor right away would be good for you.I am glad you have come here for support.Things will get better and hope will grow.Take care of yourself okay.
    we care.
  8. ladicius29

    ladicius29 Member

    Thank you for the kind & encouraging words annrobert. They are greatly appreciated. It's a little strange & awkward for me to reach out to people this way but I'm losing my grip on reality and life and need to know that there are people out here who understand the inner torment in which we live with. My circumstances have become somewhat complicated and getting to a mental health professional is proving to be difficult but I am hoping/praying that before I give up completely I will make it to one. Thank you again for your sincere words of encouragement, I need it very much.
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