im mike, im 16 and im thinking of suicide. please help me!!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by junodude, Nov 7, 2006.

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  1. junodude

    junodude New Member

    Hi im Mike. Im 16 years old and live in southwestern part of Chicago. I'm homeschooled because i would always ditch school cause...well i could'nt take it anymore. i also have a accent, i say my r's like w's and people enjoy to remind me about it by mocking me because of it which is also another reason i would ditch school so much. I have only bout 1 real friend. I have very low self-asteem , i cant even look at myself in the mirror anymore cause i hate myself so much. lately ive become very emotional, ive cried more times in the last 2 weeks then i ever have in my life, im even sheadin a few tears writin this. the pain is too much, this morning when i got up i was thinking of ways of how i would kill myself. the only person i really care about i've never met. its this person named brittany that i met on this teen website. shes pretty much the only reason i havent taken my own life yet. i know its pathetic, but its all i have right now. i even told my dad that i wanted to go to counciling but then he got angry and said that it wasnt the answer and that they would only just drug me up. i cant even talk to him bout how i feel cause he always just says it just a fase and i got my whole life ahead of me. i hate it when he says that cause its like he doesnt know how serious i am. i tried to go to a church but im so depressed and i dont feel like talkin to people and they dont talk to me so i stopped goin. i just need help, i cant even do this homeschooling thing cause im so depressed and then i think about what happened in school and all the things i did and its just to much. i remeber being happy, along time ago. back when i was little. oh god. please i just need someone i can talk to, if i ever lost brittany i know i would kill myself and i just need someone who would listen and just, idont know comfort me i guess. it hurts so much and i cant take it much longer. i beg god to help me, but i dont think he can hear me. please help me!!! i need help......please just help me:sad:
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Mike, welcome and so glad you found us...firstly, let me talk about something I truly know: the w/r subsitution is one of the more common speech can ask any speech pathologist to assist you, and if your tongue is able to make the new pattern for the /r/, it will not be an issue anymore...Secondly, I am so sorry you are not being heard...YOU ARE RIGHT...going to a therapist is a good idea (I am the poster child for good psychotherapy)...home schooling, although one of the options right now, does add to a lack of socialization, and may make you feel more isolated...are there any schools in your community where there are less kids and more teacher NY we have Magnet schools, and some programs are designed specifically for school-related issues..and lastly, please continue to post how you are are very wise for your age and that is something it seems ppl have failed to tell you...please PM me if I can be there for you...big hugs, Jackie
  3. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Mike, and welcome to the forum. Being 16 yrs old is hard enough without people making fun of you for things beyond your control. I'm sorry your dad isn't more supportive of your wanting to see a therapist. I have to disagree with his opinion that they would only "drug you up". Medication for depression and anxiety doesn't always have that effect anyway. It sounds as if your depression is setting off some alarms in his life - could he have a problem with depression too? Or maybe in the past? Or someone in his life, perhaps, had/has a problem with depression? Or maybe he just doesn't know how to handle your problems and possibly feels inadequate over it... I can't say, I'm just guessing.

    Can you talk to your mother about this at all? I'm sure, living where you do, there are suicide 'hotlines' that you could call. I would recommend that if you get more pushed toward the idea of killing yourself. I don't mean to sound "cliched", or quote something said so often, but suicide really IS a permanent solution to a temporary problem - even if the problem doesn't FEEL temporary to you. Besides, your age is a rough enough time without the added burden of depression and low self-esteem.

    Is there any other relative or friend you could talk to about how you're feeling? Someone, near or far, who could possibly help you by at least talking with your parent(s) about your problems. I definately recommend counseling - I've been going to a counselor/psychiatrist (and taking anti-depressants) for a number of years and have found it extremely helpful.

    Best of luck to you. Please don't hurt yourself. Come here as often as you feel the need. THere's always someone here to listen to you.

    sending you love and hugs and hope,

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