I'm miserable

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Active Member
The past 3 years I've been trying different anti-depressants. The ones I've tried so far either give me very bad negative side effects or they work for 2 months then flat line.

Is this 2 month effect a placebo or just me getting more tolerant to it?

I wish I could be happy, or just not feeling miserable all the time. I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to try to get a better job. I don't want to do anything. My whole life has been crap up to this point and my guess is the rest will be too.

I honestly wish tomorrow I wouldn't be here. I wish I could painlessly die in my sleep and not have to worry about life the way I do now.

My counselor has always discouraged taking medication for my depression. When I was in between switching to a different antidepressant she would encourage me to stay off and not start a new one. She seems to figure "if you did this" "if you made your life better" "if this happened to you" that I wouldn't feel the way I feel now. I've always felt the way I feel now. I'm pretty sure me having financial security and more friends won't make me feel like not killing myself every god damn day.

What I want is to take a medication that works. I want to feel the way I did during those 2 months when the meds would work all the time. I can't think, my thoughts are constantly racing and I can't pay attention to one thing.

I'm going to the doctor later today and telling him how I feel but if I was to change medication it will be at least a month or more before the new meds kick in.

I'm not really asking a specific question, I just need feedback.


Staff Alumni
I do not understand why anyone would discourage medication, especially for depression, as new meds and new combinations are being tried all the time...unfortunately, depression is not an organ disfunction, like diabetes, and has so many influences...keep trying all that is available and well-founded...that is both brave and wise...all the best, J


Well-Known Member
Because there are so many different depression and ralated medictions out there, uptakers, anti this, anti that, SSRI's, Etc. Meaning there is trial and error with brands or medication families. I'm on my 5th type, before I was on 3 SSRI's types, then 1 herbal and now a different family brand. Be strong and don't feel discouraged, as soon as you feel no good or not confident with the current med go see a professional and talk about it.
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