My posts here are usually the same. Divorced, incredibly lonely, and soon to be jobless and in financial ruin. I'm more resolved to suicide now. I have a job lasting a very short time, possibly until the end of the year. At that point I will lose med insurance and no longer able to afford my meds that keep me mentally going. So I am more resolved to do it. I have the means to do it. I think I am at peace to do it. I can't get another job for med insurance no one will hire me. I have interviewed for many jobs and got none. I'm not going to apply any more. I'm not going to call the thearpist anymore - she can't help me by getting me a job. My job is my life. I have no hobbies that I am interested in. I sit at home at night and play on the computer in front of the tv. I'll be disappointed in myself if I don't do anything about killing myself. Maybe I don't want to which is why I'm writing this post. I'm tired of crying wolf and not killing myself. This time I'm very cool about it - not really emotional. That's why I feel at peace with suicide.